There are many things a woman should not say in her online profile.  These are huge red flags for men.

But here’s one, or 3, that just, well, doesn’t leave enough up to the imagination and won’t make any man excited about meeting you – which is the ultimate goal for your online profile..

Here we go…

A woman, 35 years old, on a site called J Swipe.

That’s the Jewish swiping site.

That’s right, they’re all single Jewish people who want to meet.

I’m sure there’s C Swipe for Catholics.

I’m sure there’s Inner City Swipe for the inner city people.

I’m sure there’s Suburban Swipe for the suburban people.

I’m sure in time there will be Farmer Swipe.

And I’m sure there’s Transgender Swipe.

  1. Don’t Be Overly Weird or Odd

This is what she wrote on her profile, and it’s just ridiculous. It’s too weird. A little weird or odd or different is fine. But this stuff scares men away. Especially quality men that can attract women in real life, as well as online

“Shalom, y’all. Shalom, y’all.

5’8″ Jewicorn.”

All right, anybody else wondering what the hell is a Jewicorn?

Is that a bagel coming out of a Jewish person’s head shaped like a unicorn? Is that a Jewicorn? Like three bagels stacked on top of one another looking like a unicorn.

  1. Avoid Stereotyping or Excluding Entire Groups of People

Our little Jewicorn goes on.

“New Yorker living in LA. Fun, funny, fun and funny at the same time, easy going, no tattoos, lover of music.”

What’s the point in no tattoos?

I mean is that an important thing to know, that she’s got no tattoos? That’s really funny. Why would she say no tattoos?

I know many different types of men and women with tattoos – and without.

She is putting men – and a lot of them – on the “Don’t” list.

“Don’t contact me if…”

Lover of music, easy going, fair enough. And then fun and funny.

  1. Avoid The ‘Over Share’online_dating_

Now for my favorite part of her profile.

“Invisalign wearer.”

Invisalign wearer?

The whole point is to meet. That’s right, meet face to face and have a conversation. Then halfway through the date the guy is looking at you and you smile and he sees your Invisalign.

He thinks wow, you have Invisalign. He had been feeling emotionally connected and thought you were hot. But now he’s thinking to himself, “wow, rubber bands, braces.”

Isn’t this great. I can’t wait to watch her floss at night to get those big chunks of food out.

Then finally she writes that she’s a recent dog rescuer.

Well that’s just great, a recent dog rescuer.

So here’s the thing. Online profiles are such a funny thing because of what people put in them.

You need to put things that get a man excited about wanting to see you, not throw up red flags at the start.

So many women over share either in their profile, or during the first phone conversation – and don’t get me started on the ‘Medical Over Share.’ It’s an entire category of women’s red flags.

Have you ever said:

I’m having a little elective surgery…

I have a yeast infection…

I’m having my wisdom teeth taken out…

These are pretty harmless examples from real profiles. But they are giant red flags for men. I’ve seen much worse.

Stop.

A little mystery goes a long way. Make him excited about getting to know you. Don’t lie, but don’t shoot yourself in the foot either.

I’m going to ask y’all the question again.

What is a Jewicorn?

Help me out here.

To me, like I said earlier, the Jewicorn conjures an image of somebody who stacked three bagels and put a pickle in the middle of it and attached it to their forehead.

What else could a Jewicorn be?

Hey, look, I’m laughing at these jokes. I’m Jewish.

Hopefully today’s lesson was as good for you as it was for me.