Are You A Dating Lister?

Men's Advice Confidence, Uncategorized

By David Wygant November 29, 2011 219 Shares

Nowadays, dating is more competitive than it’s ever been — download this free report to learn 6 proven skills to stand apart & succeed in the modern dating world.

How strict are you when it comes down to your own set of dating rules?

Are you a dating “lister”?

Meaning, do you sit down and list all the things you desire in a person and then expect to put yourself out there and meet that very person?
Are you a person who has a checklist for things they’re looking for in a partner? Then at the end of each date, you go home and check off what that person did and didn’t do, or how they lived or didn’t live up to your expectations?

Dating and relationships are always a unique ride for each person. A lot of times you think you’ve found somebody great, they’re the perfect person, and then all of a sudden a few months into dating them you realize that they’re not for you.

How strict are you with your expectations of another person? And how many hoops do you need to make the person you’re dating go through in order to give them the gift of your love?
Check out today’s video and ask yourself if you are as stringent as this guy is in this video. If so, explain down below why you are.

What are your desires, your deal-breakers, and what can you tolerate? What are your negotiables and non-negotiables?

Let’s have a conversation today about how far you’re willing to negotiate when it comes down to things you desire in a relationship.
Let’s make this a great conversation!

Nowadays, dating is more competitive than it’s ever been — download this free report to learn 6 proven skills to stand apart & succeed in the modern dating world.

About David

1.7 million men & women come to me every month to find the secrets to success. And after 20 years of coaching, I’ve discovered the golden keys to success in dating, business, health and wellness, and life.

I’ve helped millions of men and women around the globe achieve success in their dating, social and personal lives. I’m also a father to the world’s cutest little girl, and I am an unapologetic man. Some say I’m nuts, others say I’ve changed their life forever. One thing’s for certain: I’ll always give you the truth, whether you can handle it or not. I never sugar coat anything.

Nice is so overrated. I’d prefer brutally honest breakthrough to a “nice” rut any damn day of the week. If you’re the same way, then you've come to the right place.

56 Comments | Join the Discussion!

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The Jester

Tuesday, November 29th, 2011

DO's 1. a vagina 2. at least 3 of 4 limbs 3. fully functional brain DONT's 1. AIDS 2. 25 children 3. armpit hair

Jonathan

Tuesday, November 29th, 2011

What am i looking at here?

Brian

Tuesday, November 29th, 2011

I made a list a couple years ago of 10 things that are non negotiable in a potential date.... I have not met anyone that met all 10 criteria.... so I have had to "settle".... mind you the only physical attribute is "attractive"... which is in the eye of the beholder.... but I think the ones on the list like honesty, being fun to be around, loyal, and being goal oriented should not be compromised.

Tom

Tuesday, November 29th, 2011

I'm no lister, I'm not picky, she just has to have great hip-waist ratio, look sexy, and like/love me. bad for my luck, it's not happening. I did observations on a movie I watched, Notorious, the movie about Notorious B.I.G. life. there's a scene where he meets lil kim in the street and the scene cuts to a sex scene where he has sex with kim, and I think to myself, why does he deserve that? there are so many reasons too. I mean, he didn't work as hard as me, he was lazy, he got whatever he wanted in a silver platter. whereas I work hard, I'm far from lazy, and I don't get anything I want. the problem is, I'm still thinking about it, why did he get everything when he did nothing? why do I get nothing when I do everything? now about thanksgiving/black friday. I ate Thanksgiving dinner with my co workers(yes, Jenny was there too), we start talking about dating and relationships. when they asked me if I had any dates or relationships lately, I told them I dated Jenny the last month, one imbecile asked why it didn't work out, and I was stuck. I couldn't say anything, so I just spewed out the biggest cliche bullshit ever, I said "I'm just not that into her", now I had a feeling that she might try to say what really happened(that it was the opposite, that she wasn't into me, and that I'm a loser) so I quickly went on to talk about the green bay packers being undefeated. see right there? I could've lost all my integrity, if I didn't change the subject, Jenny would've opened her mouth, and I would've looked like an idiot. of course midnight struck, black friday started, smelly, crazy, customers raged buying everything they can and of course, Jenny got mad(she didn't show it, but I could see she was), and while I was talking to a customer she said she wanted to talk to me. we talked in the storage room, and she asked me politely not to mention to anyone that we dated. I agreed, but asked why she was ashamed of me, she just kept looking at me like I was talking to a wall. she said that she wasn't ashamed of me, that she just wanted her dating life private. I don't buy that for a second, I could see it in her eyes that she's ashamed of me. but since I owe her, it is fair that I do what she wishes. after that midnight struck and this means that the war for a woman continues. I finally let go of Maybell, my sister told me that if she liked me, she would've been all over me from the get go in 1993, and not have been friends with me. opened my eyes. I have so much shit to deal with this month too. the main shit, my brother, the successful doctor/therapist is coming over for the holidays with his new girlfriend. I will try as much as possible to act busy so I don't have to see him. I am jealous of him, and always will be, no need for me to hear more success from him, and I don't need to have him rubbing his girlfriend in my face. but for fun sakes I'll make a list of what I want and don't want from a woman, Want: to Love me Don't want: to be locked up in the friend zone.

Bobby M

Tuesday, November 29th, 2011

Thinking about dating in these terms just makes love seem so robotic and non-emotional. What happened to being with someone and just going with the vibes?

José Colín

Tuesday, November 29th, 2011

Ahh this topic is a lot of fun! I was talking with a couple of female friends about this exactly, and I was telling them that I got my standards and if the woman does not fulfill them, then she's done! I was teasing them of course, the two conditions I told them were, should have blue eyes and an european passport; as they did not fulfill "my standards" they were a bit grumpy hehehe :) What I find physically attractive is, a skinny, blue-eyed woman, and if she is a redhead, she gets some extrapoints! But more than physical attraction, most important for me is the personality of the woman. I like a women with strong character, that go for what they want, and that like to get out of the house. What I mean with that is that they try to have a social life. For me it's really a turn off when a woman just wanna stay home and not trying to meet people and do some other activities. I have dated women with physical characteristics different than the one I listed above, but if she does not have the personality, she's pretty much done...

Intern Dan

Tuesday, November 29th, 2011

I used to have a list and I always ended up agonizing over whether #4 would make up for not having #6. Or if not having #6 meant that any possibility of dating her was doomed from the get go. What I found was that instead of using my list to find women I wanted to date I was using it to disqualify women I wanted to date all in the hopes of one day finding "the right one." I was pretty scared to date women, and when I would meet a really great one I'd hide beyond my list and say something like "I'd like to date her but I need to stay strong and true to my values that are on the list. It was a lonely time. Then one day I met this great girl and instead of checking my list I checked to make sure she had the things I absolutely couldn't live without. She did, and we went out and had a great time dating. You really need to figure out what you need and then go with the flow for the rest.

José Colín

Tuesday, November 29th, 2011

Hey Dan, it was like making a list of pros and cons... I think that's a good strategy for dealing with situations, but for people does not work very well! How did you figure out the things you could not live without?

Manny

Tuesday, November 29th, 2011

I don't have a list of the perfect girlfriend or wife. I do have lists of reasons why I won't date certain women. I've made these lists to stop a bad relationship from happening. There's this one particular set of behaviors I won't go for: I do all the work, she only cleans up her place if I'm around, she doesn't have date ideas, she has no friends. Each one of my lady friends have a similar list associated with them. That list is to remind me why she and I should stay friends. Lol!

Tom

Tuesday, November 29th, 2011

@Bobby M, "What happened to being with someone and just going with the vibes?" women changed that, they made it complicated. @Intern Dan "You really need to figure out what you need and then go with the flow for the rest." Now I have a simple list, she has to like/love me, and not put me in the friendzone. I'm not picky, I don't have these long list like you or anyone else does, I simply want... interpersonal love from a woman. something I never will find, because for it doesn't exist. everyone has one thing they want, that they could never have, well, that is that one thing I can never have.

john

Tuesday, November 29th, 2011

I think having a "must have" list is very limiting. But I think there HAS to be dealbreakers. Ex. Dealbreakers for me,, Extreme obesity, (and before you all get mad, I'm not talking a little thick. Nothing against large women, but I want someone who takes care of herself at least as well as I do.) Lack of sense of humor. (must get my warped, sarcastic s.o.h.) Unclean / unkempt. (goes without saying) Left wing liberal (because that's just wrong.... J/k) I could think of more, but y'all get the point.

Jen

Friday, October 12th, 2012

John, your comments about libs was PRICELESS!

Paula R

Tuesday, November 29th, 2011

I don't think I really have a list per say, but I have a lot of things that I value a lot. I can't date someone who isn't intelligent - I really like having interesting conversations. I think that's really my most important point... I don't think I could date someone who I disagree with on a fundamental level about one of my deeply entrenched values, because I can get really frustrated when I disagree wholeheartedly about something and argue about it with someone I love. I think that's about it - I could date men of different looks, heights, religions and values, as long as they're intelligent and their values are at least compatible with mine.

Tom

Tuesday, November 29th, 2011

@Paula R Why? why not date a guy in need of a woman? say there was a guy like me, would you put him in the friend zone, or would you give him a chance? see the things you listed do not matter, it is what is on the outside that matters. now I'm not putting words in your mouth, let me explain. you say you'd date any man as long as he is intelligent. I have to disagree, alot of unattractive, asymmetrical men like myself are very, very intelligent, yet we don't get women. a very symmetrical, attractive male, who is dumb as fly to shit gets women. now I'm not saying you're lying, I believe that you want an intelligent guy, I just believe that you left out the part where he has to be attractive. think about it Paula... would you date an unattractive intelligent man like me? or an attractive imbecile? I think physical attraction always goes over the rest. it's human nature, scientific evidence. even us males are like that too.

Jennifer

Tuesday, November 29th, 2011

I do not carry a list, however, I do have dealbreakers. Since I changed my lifestyle, I want someone who will share my same interests and values. I want someone who likes fresh veggies and fruits. I want someone who likes to workout in the gym. I want someone who like to go to art shows and jazz festivals. Plus likes to volunteer at church. I realize that I cant have it all. My dealbreakers. If he is disrespect to others and to himself, doesnt have a job, and no social skills.

Godfather

Tuesday, November 29th, 2011

What people say they want in another person and what they are actually attracted to are usually two different things. Although people would like to have certain personality/physical traits, they don't always settle for what they wanted in the first place. It may seem counter intuitive to those who are looking for commonality and other things, but it boils down to knowing what kind of a person you want to have and having an understanding of how you can be able to attract that kind of person into your life. The one thing that anyone of you can do to make yourself more attractive is to first understand what kind of person you are, have a sense of style and fashion that fits your personality, have a good personal hygiene, be confident in yourself, learn to be social with people, and develop good conversational skills. Of course, getting in physical shape can help as well, but this may take longer to accomplish than the other things I mentioned. If you can accomplish this as well, then more power to you!

Paula R

Tuesday, November 29th, 2011

@Tom: A guy in need of a woman just isn't one of my categories. I could absolutely date a guy in need of a woman, and I believe I have dated men who have needed a good woman in the past, but that's not what I consider integral. My "list" isn't very strict, as you can see, it only has 2 categories. So I could date a guy like you mentioned. Yeah, physical attraction is important. I'm not going to lie and say that it isn't, but different people are attracted to different things. A lot of it IS intelligence too. I can meet men who I don't want to sleep with right off the bat, but once they engage me in a good conversation, I start noticing the things I find PHYSICALLY attractive about them too. You do have to want to sleep with someone to sleep with them, or date them, but attraction is in the eye of the beholder. I have no real specific traits that I'm drawn to (except blonde guys with beards, but even that isn't a big enough thing that I disclude others, for example, my current boyfriend has very dark hair and didn't have a beard when we started dating (and that being said, i didnt make him grow the beard when he did!)). So yeah, it's not hopeless, Tom! Different people are attracted to different physical traits, and sometimes those things aren't important either.

Tom

Tuesday, November 29th, 2011

@Paula R I can't believe that, only in fairy tales and movies. read this article: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Physical_attractiveness that article is fact, for example, it says men like women with a good waist to hip ratio and well... that is true, that is something I like alot and I know a majority, a majority of other men like. I can't buy that a very attractive woman who looks like Nicole kidman for example would date a man who looks like danny devito for example. that's just an insult to my intelligence.

KJD

Tuesday, November 29th, 2011

@Tom Julia Roberts & Lyle Lovett An example of a guy that most women don't find all that attractive and a woman that alot of guys find attractive. You can't tell me she was with him for his looks or his money (she was making more money than he was) More on the main topic later when I get a chance.

Jeremiah

Tuesday, November 29th, 2011

@TOM tom you actually beleive everything you read off of wikipedia?

David S.

Tuesday, November 29th, 2011

There are tons of things I always look for in a woman, but I'm not stupid I know that it would be damn near impossible to find a woman with all the qualities I like. If I can find a woman that just has some of the major ones then I'll be good. I think the more important thing is if you can love that woman for her flaws more than the things that were on your list.

John

Tuesday, November 29th, 2011

@davidwygant ,, nothing to do with this discussion,, I have done the homework, and sent the list to you that we talked about to your email. ( sent from my gmail account.) Thank you for your help.

Shogo (Coach)

Wednesday, November 30th, 2011

@Sandra: Starship? Amazing. Had that one lost in my iTunes library somewhere..definitely coming back on the playlist :)

Shogo (Coach)

Wednesday, November 30th, 2011

@David W: nice Diner clip btw. Great film, back before Paul Reiser sucked...

Brian

Tuesday, November 29th, 2011

No list in particular. I have a few dealbreakers though: take care of their body (hygeine, working out from time to time, eating healthy for the most part), and intelligence. Most other things I can negotiate.

Intern Dan

Tuesday, November 29th, 2011

Jose, the way I figured out what I could not live without was by thinking long and hard about what I valued in myself and what I valued in other people. Believe it or not, it all came down to the sense of humour for me. It wasn't enough for a woman to laugh at my jokes, but she really had to get them and be able to speak in the "same language" and make me laugh in the same way. It's hard to explain, but all of my values can be seen in the jokes I make or the things I find amusing. As for looks I actually only have 1 criteria. When I look at a woman, if I can feel a primal urge at the back of my skull close to where my head and neck meet then I know I'm actually attracted to her physically. I call it my caveman sense. It's a feeling that basically says "I want to mix my genes with hers and produce offspring." I discovered this caveman sense when I was 19 and working at a grocery store. I saw a hot mom and her hot 20 year old daughter walk by. I realized that I was attracted to the mom on a much deeper level than the daughter because the mom had amazing hips and her daughter's hips weren't as amazing. Kind of ruins the magic doesn't it? It's not romantic, it's really just primal for me.

sandra hutchens

Tuesday, November 29th, 2011

I want to share some videos of some girls that i can be like in a relationship... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o4VSdGzxSTw the main character...jeff wilhelm said to me one time you remind me of the main character of this movie when my male friend messes up i will say i do not need your shit nick pity the him and the dog runs...my fun times the mannequin https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0w5s6V8rQH4 i love to shoot birds

sandra hutchens

Tuesday, November 29th, 2011

dave i was thinking about the time we met in california these songs help the savage beast in me. but sometimes i feel like this song https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zplc4Ienkws fancy by reba mc entyre

Collin

Tuesday, November 29th, 2011

I've got what could be considered a list, but it really comes down to, "Would I want to actually spend that kind of time around her?" and "Is she attractive enough to be seen with in public?" The answer to the first usually involves a mishmash of too many factors to bother trying to list. I will say though, that when you disagree on core values, it doesn't bode well for the future of the relationship, even on something like religion. Height, weight, hair, employment, hips, money, etc. are going to change, but the way people see the world most likely isn't going to change a whole lot.

Tommy

Wednesday, November 30th, 2011

Tom- never say never!

MHS

Wednesday, November 30th, 2011

Sry david, but I've been searching about these stuffs and your stuff and all other pua's are all like each other, and all of them are like MYSTERY! sry man :-)

John

Wednesday, November 30th, 2011

What is Diner about anyway? Never seen that one.

sandra hutchens

Wednesday, November 30th, 2011

yes and no... it depends on the relationship and the individual. i have noticed that with each guy that i was married to that at the end we would argue and not get along then we were divorcing. could it be that when a person has spent too many years with one person they want to try something new. let me give you a scenario... i was checking out this couple and the guy kept telling the girl you are making me angry...now i am thinking in the back of my mind if i were with you in her situation no rings no mortgage or complications when me and that sucker got back to the house and he was living with me...he would be packed and out the door to tell the wind it makes it angry. i was told by this one guy these are known as womanizers. they take women for granted.

Maximilian

Wednesday, November 30th, 2011

@InternDan I like the 'cave man feeling', it really sharpens the senses, and makes you feel alive :) On my list i guess is the most important condition because i cannot fake excitement, and without it, i can't be at my best, and i'm also not interested with what she's all about... I remember the so called romance movies from the early 90's where the main subject we're the arranged marriages...and one of the main lines that repeated every time was : "don't worry, in time you will learn to love me" Man, that was disturbing, i was just a small boy but i can still remember it loud and clear after 20 years :(

Maximilian

Wednesday, November 30th, 2011

I mean, can you imagine how is like to spend all your life with a person u're not attracted to? I'm starting to understand why David always insists in 'connecting with the right person' and 'connecting on deep level'

sandra hutchens

Wednesday, November 30th, 2011

Shogo I am glad you liked it

sandra hutchens

Wednesday, November 30th, 2011

When I hit a snag these two songs bring me back to reality the first is the ballad of Danny Forsythe and I...Poison Every Rose Has Its Thorne https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j2r2nDhTzO4&feature=share the mental scare is his death... Danny is deceased the second one Forever Young by Rod Stewart...the song he dedicated to me. in it is a message that he leaves with me https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yGEe_zpddNI&feature=share Music is what soothes and each song has a message inside it for me

Konstantin

Wednesday, November 30th, 2011

@John I sent you message on johnyou38@hotmail.com if you can't read it I can write you here.

Konstantin

Wednesday, November 30th, 2011

@Shogo you're on the blog so I can ask you only man. Today I doscovered that communication really is skill you need to practise. I be sincere and short.Can you give me some exercise to practise because I little shy. I don't give a fuck method really I want to use. And second thing how to close the deal I mean how to not play safe with woman?I'm playing very safe,that's I think because my shyness.If anyone see this I be happy for real.Thanks

Konstantin

Wednesday, November 30th, 2011

@De La Thank you for the video.I got comment about that,the guy in the video is right for the fear that I have,those bitch butterflies. But I don't like conversations,random conversations.David says ain't talk about random topics,because is unnatural. But anyway you can learn something from this. Sincerely I stand like this in bars and clubs and all night try to figure out what I have to do.And I am concious about that but I got no nuts to do it because of others fuck it.Thats why I stand here od the blogs try to find something and consultate with others.Btw thanks for the video again.It was usefull.

john

Wednesday, November 30th, 2011

Konstantin ,, got your email,, sent a reply.

john

Wednesday, November 30th, 2011

@MHS , if you think David Wygants stuff is like Mystery's,, you haven't read any of DW's stuff, and you definately haven't bought and dug into any of his products. I've talked to DW personally, and we laughed about PUA's. Not to bash Mystery,, different things work for different people, but if you just want to be a guy who naturally attracts women without canned routines,, then you are in the right place. Read other coaches stuff too, and get different perspectives.

De La

Wednesday, November 30th, 2011

@Konstantin "David says ain’t talk about random topics, because is unnatural." I agree, this is very true. Definitely avoid the scripted topics, openers. Girls can smell bullshit if you don't believe in what your saying. The point is it shouldn't matter what you are talking about, or how intellectual you need to sound. It's how you command yourself, how you deliver an idea, and ultimately believe in what you are saying regardless of how ridiculous the topic may sound. I think that is what the SimplePickup guys are trying to drive in. As you have said yourself, "I be sincere and short." Being sincere is a very good authentic approach, maybe Shogo has an exercise to help with keeping up your momentum. Good luck.

Konstantin

Wednesday, November 30th, 2011

Yeah i agree with that.As I said video is very usefull,I found myself in the video and guys saying the true. Maybe I'm very boring with my questions that's why coaches ain't responding anymore(nit ecxuse)

Konstantin

Wednesday, November 30th, 2011

@John Thanks for email.I appreciate that and everything helps.

José Colín

Wednesday, November 30th, 2011

Ooooh you naughty Dan, going for the mature ones!!! Yeah Dan, I think that understand what you are trying to tell me! It's like you see something you like, and you just go for it! It is like the "not so beautiful" woman that you just cannot take your eyes off her! I find interesting what you told about the primal urge. Going to pay attention to it next time I see somebody I think I'm attracted to... About the humour I have experienced something interesting. Because I have been with women, that they even tell me: "I don't get your jokes", and some time later they are cracking jokes so much my style!

Kevin

Wednesday, November 30th, 2011

Looking for women with lists? Go online to a dating site...losts of women with lists there lol One woman said to me..."I don't think I could connect with someone who didn't go to college" Well I guess she thought she was just too educated for me! lol

José Colín

Wednesday, November 30th, 2011

Oh Kevin, that sucks! But you know, that sounds more like an excuse, or the "polite" way to say no thanks... And I was wondering, do women make a list aswell? as if they were evaluating men: College - check! Handsome - check! Tall - check! (this was for John! :D) Rich - whoops red lights!!!

sandra hutchens

Wednesday, November 30th, 2011

My list Self Sufficient... Has a place of his own... Does not matter if he is short or tall... Looks does not matter.... Willing to put up with my grown daughters approval...lol yeah right! they wished or i will get involved in their relationships wants to have a good time with sex in mind...umm in their dreams...not internet slut... Definitely does not want to pick arguments and one top acts like a gentleman and knows how to treat a lady that is a must....

Kevin

Thursday, December 1st, 2011

Sandra, We'd get along just fine :)

Kevin

Thursday, December 1st, 2011

I don't give a shit about how tall I am..I'm only 5'7. if she bitches that I'm not tall enough, I'll bitch that her tits aren't big enough! :) Can't do anything about my height.

sandra hutchens

Thursday, December 1st, 2011

Kevin If a guy does not like my boobie size he can find him someone that has big tits...lol your darn tooting...

sandra hutchens

Thursday, December 1st, 2011

I have not only height but COCK size put down my tits and i will put down your blessed cock size will tell story but the work bell is sounding...later lol

sandra hutchens

Thursday, December 1st, 2011

I meant to say I have one more...rephrase i have koochie not cock

john

Thursday, December 1st, 2011

@jose,,, it cracks me up everytime I read an online dating ad, and profile, after profile, women say they INSIST on a guy with a college degree, then I meet really hot women, one after the next, who are with guys who don't work, and are basically losers who do nothing with their life. Ex. ,, there is a GORGEOUS bartender who works at Quaker steak near here, blonde, thin, beautiful,, and her live in, long term boyfriend is a loud mouth bum who don't work, and she basically works two jobs to support him. (this is what people who really know her well tell me. They say she always dates losers.) You can't go by what women "say" they want.

José Colín

Thursday, December 1st, 2011

Yeah, that's actually funny! I have met a lot of them here in Europe as well! And not only losers, but men that love all women at the same time aswell... Maybe if they are going through all that trouble, they are not really worth the effort, even if they are cute/sexy/hot!

Are You A Dating Lister?

About David

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56 Comments | Join the Discussion!

Cancel reply

The Jester

Jonathan

Brian

Tom

Bobby M

José Colín

Intern Dan

José Colín

Manny

Tom

john

Jen

Paula R

Tom

Jennifer

Godfather

Paula R

Tom

KJD

Jeremiah

David S.

John

Shogo (Coach)

Shogo (Coach)

Brian

Intern Dan

sandra hutchens

sandra hutchens

Collin

Tommy

MHS

John

sandra hutchens

Maximilian

Maximilian

sandra hutchens

sandra hutchens

Konstantin

Konstantin

Konstantin

john

john

De La

Konstantin

Konstantin

José Colín

Kevin

José Colín

sandra hutchens

Kevin

Kevin

sandra hutchens

sandra hutchens

sandra hutchens

john

José Colín