Have you been bombarded? It’s amazing how good e-mail spammers can get at times. For a while there, I wasn’t getting a single e-mail from them, and all of a sudden, they started squeaking their way in and now they’ve got new promises.

There’s supposedly a penis growth lotion that you rub on, and your penis gets bigger. Really? I learned that when I was 12. It’s called masturbation. Go to your mother’s shelf, get some lotion, put it on your penis, rub it on and your penis gets bigger. I should’ve sold it when I was 12. I would’ve been a huge entrepreneur because I learned the trick of that when I was 12 years old. A little bit of lotion, a little bit of movement, penis got bigger.

It’s ridiculous the stuff they sell. Really, lotion that you rub on your penis will make your penis bigger. Put some lotion on the back of your thighs and cellulite goes away. There’s cream out there. Put it on your breast and your breast will grow one breast size. It’s amazing.

Is there going to be brain cream one day? I can rub it, I can shave my hair, rub it on my scalp, my brain will get bigger. What about arm cream? Can I get bigger arms? How about chest cream for men?

Folks, there’s no such thing as a shortcut in life. But yet, the world is full of people marketing these short cuts. You can’t cheat your way to better women or a bigger penis. You get rid of cellulite when you work out and you diet. Life is about working hard and not shortcuts.