Hey guys, Shogo back again with another Friday bar post. I’ve been on hiatus the past couple weeks, David and I are working on an amazing new program that you guys are sure to love! But for now I figured it’s about time to get cracking again on the bar scene to get you guys in the right mindset for going out this weekend!

Let me know if this sounds familiar:

It’s Friday, you decide to meet up with your regular group of guys and hit the bars tonight and see if you can meet some new women. You have a couple beers to pregame, maybe watch the game, maybe play some video games.

A few hours later, you’re out with your group of buddies, standing at the bar having a couple drinks. You’re all taking to each other, looking around the room to see if there are any women to talk to. After a while, you start getting a little bored. No cute girls at that bar, fine.

So you go to the next bar and have a couple more drinks. Damn, it’s wall-to-wall dudes at that bar. So you go to the next place and have a few more.

Before you know it it’s last call, you’ve scoured every bar on Main St., you’re out $80, and you’re drunk standing in line holding your dick in your hand waiting to get an overpriced slice of greasy pizza at 3am. You didn’t meet a single woman tonight. Or one of your friends actually got up the courage to go talk to a woman, while the whole group watched him do it and that was the mediocre highlight of the night. But basically nobody worthwhile crossed your path. The right opportunity just didn’t come your way.

How To Meet Women In Bars

So what went wrong?

Here’s the rundown: You can’t wait for the right opportunity to come to you. You have to create it. You guys were running around town, basically trying to chase a good time. You didn’t find that good time you were looking for at the first place, you got frustrated, so you went to the next place looking for a good time.

You guys are all trying so hard to have a good time, waiting for the right girls and that perfect situation to basically fall into your laps, but you didn’t really end up having that good of a time.

Why? It’s because you’ve got “desperate bar energy.” You can feel it, and the women around you who you’re trying to meet can feel it. You and your buddies are all out together trying to (a) meet new girls, and (b) have a good time and let loose. That’s great. But the problem is that nobody’s succeeding at either one of those so you all end up being really uptight. Nobody’s saying it, but everybody’s feeling it. So you go to the next bar trying to chase the Friday night good time you’re supposed to be having. And the next bar. And the next. That’s desperate bar energy.

The thing is that all those great women you’re trying to meet . . . they’re everywhere. There is no one bar or one place that’s better than the other. Every place is a great place. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: what you need to do focus on is having a good time first. If you go out and have an amazing time with your friends, whether it’s at a bar, a restaurant, a party, a coffee shop, wherever—the women will follow.

So go out with less friends. Don’t go out on a Friday with the hungry wolf pack of five dudes chasing the good time. You need to create the good time. Go in a mixed group: couple guys, couple girls. Go out with one cool friend who you really vibe with and who you know you can have a great time and great conversation with regardless of whether or not you meet women that night. Go out with a cool wing girl and go around talking to everybody together. Or befriend the bartender and go out by yourself, which is what I do all the time. Stand on your own two feet, go out a little bit earlier by yourself, and see where the night takes you.

Try it out this weekend, break your usual “desperate bar energy” habit, and I’m looking forward to hearing from you in the comments section today!