Are You A Self-Talker?

Are you a self-talker? Are you one of those people who, when you go out and meet people, can always find a way to turn any conversation around and make it about yourself?

Do you like to talk at people and dominate 75%-80% of the conversation? Or when you meet a group of people and the conversation is about something in which you are not interested, do you always seem to find a way to change the topic of conversation to something that does interest you (and something that will allow you to talk at people)?

Have you ever met a self-talker, or are you yourself a self-talker?

Self-talkers are the worst listeners in the world. All they like to do is constantly talk about themselves, their accomplishments, their achievements, their travels, their works, and whatever else about themselves it might be. They will manipulate every single conversation so it goes in their direction. They are some of the most irritating people in the world. When I run into self talkers I always look the other direction.

It’s funny how many guys (and women) will email me and say, “I joined this group or I was at this party the other day, and I just didn’t have anything at all to contribute to the conversation. Do you ever feel that way?”

If you don’t have anything to contribute to a conversation, it is because you’re not about listening and are a self-talker. It is because all you can ever do is talk about yourself, and you’re not listening to the conversation going on around you. Instead of adding to the conversation, all you are thinking about as you’re standing there is how you can change the conversation so it goes in your direction.

Self-talkers are the most boring people I’ve ever met. People who just talk at you for two hours straight are boring.

I don’t want to hear everything about you and your life. I just want to be able to participate in a conversation with a normal individual.

If you are a self-talker, then it’s time you really started listening to other people. Give the rest of the world a break and start listening and participating in a real conversation.

About David

1.7 million men & women come to me every month to find the secrets to success. And after 20 years of coaching, I’ve discovered the golden keys to success in dating, business, health and wellness, and life.

I’ve helped millions of men and women around the globe achieve success in their dating, social and personal lives. I’m also a father to the world’s cutest little girl, and I am an unapologetic man. Some say I’m nuts, others say I’ve changed their life forever. One thing’s for certain: I’ll always give you the truth, whether you can handle it or not. I never sugar coat anything.

Nice is so overrated. I’d prefer brutally honest breakthrough to a “nice” rut any damn day of the week. If you’re the same way, then you've come to the right place.

9 Comments | Join the Discussion!

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dancer

Wednesday, September 29th, 2010

The most important thing I learnt from David is LISTENING. I found out that through listening and asking questions people automatically get more interested in conversation with me and they also come by themselves and ask for opinion... When I start to talk about myself in a conversation there is always a "vibration" change. I can literally feel that. It's really strange. Thank you for this article because I had something to contribute ;).

Steve-O

The worst part is people seem to always give these "self talkers" the attention they are wanting. Even though you can obviously see, they are not enjoying themselves since they arn't saying a word. Yet they stand there and fake laugh. It drive me crazy. You won't ever see me rewarding these "self talkers" by giving them what they want. I get out of there as quickly as possible because i know if i even hint at adding something to the conversation, i'll just get interupted. Yet I see so many people just continue to stand there and fake laugh. I think the "self talkers" energy sucks people in, but once the listener gets in, they realize they shouldn't have, and don't know when or how to make an exit.

Farley

Thursday, September 30th, 2010

I have to admit I am a self-talker.....when I am alone by myself that is. I talk to myself which makes me a self-talker hehehe. Onward... Self-talkers are annoying. Today I was talking with a friend of mine about relationships and such, and I was so focused on what I wanted to say, that I really did not pay much attention to what he had to say. When I am interacting with strangers though, I listen to what they say and comment on whatever word they said, to keep the conversation going. If they ask me about my biggest passion in life, I will tell them. But I will not go in deep detail for too long. I will turn it around so we can have a mutual conversation.

AS

I loath self-talkers and when I come across one, I make a sharp exit asap! I believe that if you have to boast, name drop and always have to be the centre of attention - you seriously have some self-esteem issues!

Friday, October 1st, 2010

AS, Could be that these people got a lack of attention at home while growing up, that is why they want to be the center of attention?

Bryce Johansen

Sunday, October 3rd, 2010

Doesn't everyone get into these moments when they're the self-talker? I bet David would have his moments like when you tell an interesting story about yourself that ties into the group's subject or topic. I understand that listening is important but if you look at all the above comments, everyone is speaking from their own point of view (It's the view we all see with every single day, we were born with this view). I know David may just be refering to the idiot holding the floor but when you say things like "I just didn’t have anything at all to contribute to the conversation" dude, what about the situations where you A)Know nothing about the content of the conversation. B)The person is an utter blabbermouth and you can't keep up with them. C)Although you ask questions about what they are talking about, they are simply terrible at explaining themselves. D)The content is something you don't want to be involved with but your stuck listening to it like in a car or elevator. E)The environment is working against you like a noisy bar. I know someone may try and point out the flaws in my arguement but I'm refering to when your stuck in these situations and they do happen. Yes, We may not always remain present and although it's a good thing to fight to remain present we shouldn't be ashamed to let our brains rest from time to time.

mourad

Sunday, July 10th, 2011

be a self-talker in front of who just love hiself and be a listener who listening to you

Misty

Tuesday, October 28th, 2014

My best friend is this way. I could be talking to her about a problem or a situation and she turns it around to herself and her problems. It's super annoying.

Cece

Friday, March 18th, 2016

This amazes me. For the pure fact that there are so many people into themselves, all they can do is hear themselves talk. I have a few friends who do this all the time. I rarely bring up my own personal issues because they will turn it into a story about themselves. It haopens with people time and time again wherever I go. Im astonished by the fact that some people can only relate to themselves. I must learn how to remove myself in these situations without being rude or offensive. But hmmmm isn't that what they do continuously?

About David

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9 Comments | Join the Discussion!

Cancel reply

dancer

Steve-O

Farley

AS

Farley

Bryce Johansen

mourad

Misty

Cece