We live in a society now where we have access to people 24/7.
On Facebook.
On Instagram.
On e-mail.
On text messaging.
Back in the good old days that I talk about over and over again, and not just because I’m an old guy.
It’s because back in those days you really didn’t have much contact with people.
The term “lose your number” was a really great term used in the 80s and 90s. Someone didn’t like you, someone didn’t respond to you, my friends and I would sit around and go, “lose her number, man she’s not interested.”
And you were done with that person. You would not call them again. You’d forget about them and go meet somebody else.
The problem right now with modern dating is that we have access to people.
People no longer call people so you don’t lose the number, people save numbers in phones. We didn’t save numbers back in the 80s or 90s with that cordless phone with the metal antenna because there was nowhere to save the number. It was all on scraps of pieces of paper.
Or it was all on a master sheet or phone book.
But now, you can literally have somebody in your phone 24/7. You can literally cruise through your phone at night and think to yourself, man, I’d love to go out with her again.
It gives you the opportunity to stay well, fakely connected with somebody and giving the thought that maybe you can reconnect or recycle that relationship.
The “lose your number days” are over because now we save all our numbers.
You’ve got so many of those people who are sitting in your phone book right now. But, what you need to do is realize that doesn’t give you the right to contact them over and over again.
I’ve talked about stalking many times before. It doesn’t mean that you can’t send a text to somebody and just go, hey how you been?
What’s going on in your life?
Maybe we should get together again.
You know, or an authentic text of hey, the time we did go out, I was really in a bad place and I found you really interesting except I just I had too much going on work-wise and everything and now things have calmed down and would like to go to know you again.
You can re-apply in that way.
But the thing is, too many people tend to send too many messages to people who are no longer interested.
They will send an e-mail, they will send a text message, they will contact via Instagram. It’s ridiculous how many times people try to re reach out to people.
Should you EVER text your ex?
There’s a reason why — when you go out with somebody and the relationship doesn’t work — there’s a reason why two people have moved on.
And like I said, there’s a few asterisks to it. There’s definitely a few reasons why maybe it didn’t work. You were going through things at that time, and once again, you can do an authentic real text saying, hey the time we met I was going through some stuff and I’d really like to reconnect with you.
But the majority of times, the reason why you need to lose someone’s number or delete them is because it wasn’t there, the connection wasn’t there, the romance wasn’t there, the magical feeling wasn’t there.
And the problem is, too many people go through it and they don’t like the process of dating. To them, dating is not really a fun thing at all.
To me, dating’s always been the opportunity to be single, alone, get to know myself better, love myself even more.
And meet someone that I’ve never ever met before.
That’s the beauty of dating.
So when you have that opportunity to reconnect with somebody, reconnect with somebody who you might be interested, not somebody who you tried to have a relationship with but it did not work with for many different reasons.
You’re still the same person, they’re still the same person. You’re still going to have the same issues the same triggers. Unless both of you have gone through major therapy and you’ve changed, nothing will ever change.
Understand that? Good. So stop reaching out to people and freaking them out nonstop.
When a relationship is over it’s over, let it go. As Elsa said, let it go.
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