Dating After A Breakup

Hey guys, Couldn't agree more with the fact the you must love yourself before you can love and be loved by someone else. I do have one question regarding the podcast. I have been dating this girl exclusively now for about 4 months now. Our relationship is going extremely well and we seem to have a great connection and chemistry. The issue is that she basically went from ending a 3 year relationship with a guy to going out with me. At first, I was worried that this was just some sort of "rebound" relationship and I have even confronted her on this issue. She and I both agreed that this was probably the case at first but now we really seem to hit it off. What do you guys think of this situation? Is it possible for a relationship to be successful that had this kind of start and should I be concerned that there may be some extra baggage? Ed

There are exceptions to every rule, so it is definitely possible that she was strong enough to move on from one to the other. I'm sure there are some rebound marriages out there. Although it is possible, it is technically a rebound for her until further notice. However, that isn't your problem, you can't control her actions, she's an adult, she can make her own choices. Is she a great person? Is the relationship good? Do you have any other complaints besides the rebound issue? If not, just ignore it.

This is what concerns me about the guy I'm currently talking to. We were online friends, met in person and liked each other but he had a girlfriend and wasn't willing to cheat (that's a plus). He broke up with her recently and now is maybe wanting something more. It makes me nervous...

I agree you should take responsibility and learn from your mistakes in the past. I think you can do all the stuff you cover in an afternoon and get some clarity, and boom, you're ready to move on. 45-90 days? Personally I think that's a bit excessive. If you're not bitter, and you're a cool individual, then you should be quick to get over things and ready to move on.

Why do not you get a normal camera? It would look much better and more professional in more than one sense, if both of you are well captured. This 1.7 of you does not look good and portray you David as a kind of self-intoxicated man who does not want to give space to another person (not only a woman).

Jen: You should probably find out where you stand with him. The way you phrased it, sounds like he just wants a casual relationship and nothing heavy. Talk to him about it and see where it goes. It's either that, or you can keep wondering. David: If it's a multi-year relationship, than 45-90 days isn't excessive, if it's a 6-month relationship, than waiting three months is probably not needed. Also consider that there are some pretty horrific breakups out there and sometimes there are so many dynamics that the only responsible thing to do is take some time and sort them all out.

Josh: He SAYS he wants more than a casual relationship. I'm the one holding out to see if his actions match his words. We'll see...

Jen: Isn't the only way then to start dating him, or are you currently dating him?

Josh: He's in Hawaii and I'm in Texas. I see no downside to visiting him in Hawaii. We'll see what happens when I'm there.

Like the video format. Being able to sit with yourself and falling in love with yourself... I like these pieces of advice. Another way of saying the first is to be comfortable in your own skin and spend time alone ie not listening to your ipod, watching a movie or any other distraction but just being... not an easy thing to do for some! Falling in love with yourself - until we learn to value ourselves, how can anyone else. One practical step is to write a list about what you like about yourself - focus on the positives.

David...that was a powerful video !!!

45-90 days seems a bit long for introspection...I believe you should start seeing people right away to divert your thoughts away from your ex, don't brood on things for too long, keep moving, keep doing stuff...yes sit down and dig deep into yourself on what happened but always keep moving...