Let me ask you a question: would you work with somebody and form a business partnership, and that person has totally different values than your own?

Would you be best friends with any of your friends that have totally different values than your own?

I know the answer to those questions.

The answer is NO.

But yet, because you have a relationship based on a story about wanting to be with somebody or what you thought they might have been or what you think they could be…

Some of you end up with people who have a totally different value system than your own, and you’re wondering why you fight.

You’re wondering why you don’t get along.

You’re wondering why there’s always tension in the house.

Because you’re with someone whose value system is entirely different than yours. So how can you possibly form a relationship with that person that’s ever going to last?

Look, everybody loves hot sex in the beginning.

But hot sex doesn’t sustain a relationship without the values being the exact same.

I have a saying all the time:

Stop dating your type, and date your standards.

Your standards are your values.

If you’re like me and you practice abundance, you know your type. Your physical type is running all over the place. There’s no lack of somebody who will turn you on physically.

That’s the first step into really understanding how to attract somebody.

Secondly, if you’re just looking for someone who has your standards or has the same values as you, then it becomes that much easier, because you’re basically dating somebody who is on your level.

But yet, so many people will date with people whose value system is entirely different.

Drinkers will date non-drinkers. Non-drinkers will get frustrated with the drinker that they’re dating. Somebody who is an aloof parent will date somebody who is an over-parent, and the over-parent will get upset about the person that’s the aloof parent.

Some people feel its okay to cheat and do other things, yet their partner believes in monogamy.

I can go over the list over and over again of the value systems and the differences between people, and yet people all the time always never see this right from the get-go.

Let me tell you: in every relationship, if your eyes are wide open at the beginning of it, you’ll see the differences immediately.

It doesn’t mean that you need to be with someone who is exactly the same as you.

But you need to be with somebody who is on the same page as you.

We all have our shit, our barrel of crap that we drag around from relationship to relationship, and you know what? That stuff needs to be talked about and worked through.

Because you need to realize that those are the things that are going to slow you up at certain times. And those are also things that you’ll need to be able to negotiate and help each other.

But values? No way.

Can you possibly date somebody who has different values than you? You’re just going down a dangerous, dangerous road. But yet people do it all the time because the feeling, the need to control things.

Feeling the need to be with somebody because they’re afraid of being alone.

Feeling the need to have a relationship because they haven’t had one in so long and they just find somebody that actually fits what they think the person really can be.

To me, I look at someone’s values immediately. I want to know who they are, what they’re all about. I want to create a story.

The only story I want to create is a story based on the love that we’re sharing between the two of us. A story where we’re co-creating a relationship together based on having the same values, having the same wants and desires out of life. Otherwise you’re just going to be chasing rainbows.

Leprechauns.

Humming birds all day.

And four leafed clovers.

And let’s face it: the only one that you can actually see on a regular basis is a humming bird. The rest of the stuff barely ever exists.

Including that relationship you think you’re having.