One of the greatest motivators in life is to have your heart broken. To be broken up with.

To be told by another person that they don’t want to be with you the way you are.

This can also be a great motivator when it comes down to work. Getting fired from a job because your performance hasn’t been up to par.

Change is a great motivator. It’s one of the greatest ways to be inspired, if you look at it the right way.

Now, I know getting broken up with can really suck. It can hurt. You don’t feel worthy. You may feel like there may never be anybody else.

Losing a job can be the same thing. You put your all into it and it wasn’t enough. They didn’t appreciate you. Whatever it might be, whatever stories you want to say, and whatever you want to feel. But to me, rejection can kick down losing something.

Being broken up with, losing a client, losing a job, whatever it might be, is a great motivator for change.

You see, I choose not to go into victim mode in anything in my life. Now, I’m not perfect. I’ve definitely gone into victim mode from time to time. We’re only human, and human beings tend to do things that tend to protect themselves.

So I’m not innocent at all.

I’ve got to tell you, when I had my shit kicked and my teeth kicked in and all that other stuff, I take responsibility for what I’d done in that situation throughout my entire life.

I remember when I was in my 20s and I got fired from just about every single job that I had out of college. It went on for about two years. I got fired from five different jobs. And I tried to blame the companies, my bosses, and everybody for what was happening to me over and over again.

But what I realized at that young age of 24 was that I wasn’t inspired or passionate about what I was doing in my life. I didn’t like the jobs. As a matter of fact, the jobs weren’t jobs that I really enjoyed, these weren’t careers I was going to have. So I looked deep within and I found what I really wanted to do, what inspired me, what made me feel great.

And that was being an actor.

I never wanted to have a full blown acting career, because after three years of trying it, I ended up falling into owning a bar. But I got to play a lot of different roles in my lines. Hell, I’ve been playing a dating coach for 16 years. It’s just a character I created, based on knowing about the subject matter. You see, we basically play characters in our life our whole life.

And change is a great motivator. It’s such an amazing motivator, because when we get our ass kicked, if we take full responsibility for why we got our ass kicked, then we can truly tap into what our true meaning in life is. We could tap into what we really want.

And the same thing comes true for breakups. We can literally tap in and figure out why we’re no longer with that person and what type of person we really want to be with.

I never felt wounded after being broken up with. As a matter of fact, I looked at it as, “how I can grow?”, because each person I’m with taught me valuable lessons in how I can grow as a man, as a human, as a soul.

So if you’re getting your ass kicked and handed to you, and you’re getting broken up with and you’re losing your job. Realize that change is a great motivator. Thank the person for the opportunity to go find someone who you’re more aligned with in relationship.

And if it’s a job, find a job that actually makes you feel inspired, empowered, alive.

The universe is telling us things every single day.

I know I’ve needed to change around my business to more social strategies, than just talking about dating and romance. I’ve been talking about dating and romance for 16 years now. I need to talk more about what I’m more passionate about, which is:

Social strategies and communication skills, so people can succeed on a higher level in all aspects of their life. That’s what inspires me. That’s what makes me happy, and that’s what makes me alive.

You see, I’m constantly doing that. I even fire myself sometimes from my business, because I’m not doing the job that I thought I was doing that day. So that way I can learn.

So take a negative, turn it into a positive, and realize that this kick, the down moment, is actually going to be the beginning of a new beginning. It’s actually going to inpire you more. It’s going to make you stronger and more powerful and it’s going to make you a better person all around.