I Don’t Do Bleeping Yoga

I’m going back and forth recently with a woman on Tinder.

Age appropriate, had a lot of common interests.

Good conversation going on. And then she threw the trick question.

Do you do yoga?

So I wrote honestly, “no, I don’t. I find it dull. I do do a lot of yoga poses and yoga positions in my workouts, my core workouts, but I don’t do yoga.”

Then I wrote, “I respect people who do. It’s a beautiful practice.”

I was deleted. Gone. You know that feeling on Tinder when all of a sudden she no longer shows up I was totally sacked? I was history.

All because I didn’t do yoga. And I thought to myself, wow. Keep searching.

You see, I don’t ski, either.

I don’t snowboard, either.

I think drinking wine is for a bunch of alcoholics sitting around every single night. I don’t do that either.

I don’t really drink cocktails.

I don’t particularly like to eat gluten, nor do I like to eat desserts.

But it doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t be with somebody who likes to have a glass of wine.

Who likes flourless chocolate cake.

Who eats gluten products.

Somebody who does yoga.

Somebody who goes skiing. You see, I’m not looking to be partners in crime. I’m not looking to do everything with somebody. I’m just looking for somebody that I can just enjoy at the end of the day.

Go do your yoga class, come home, have a glass of wine. I’ll go do my workout, and I’ll come home, and have a glass of water, and we can still connect.

But there are people out there who are just looking for somebody who’s going to do the same thing.

There’s a woman who I would’ve been attracted to, and she wouldn’t go out with me because I don’t do a certain type of yoga style that she does. I will respect whatever you want to be, but the fact is there’s not going to be somebody who does all of the things you do.

You see, life has so many different things that you can do. Why limit yourself? I just want somebody to be happy. I want somebody to enjoy their life. I want somebody who’s going to do things that they’re passionate about, and you know what? Then we’ll talk about it at the end of the day. You want to do yoga, I’ll go do my core workout, and we’re going to be fine. But it’s funny, this world of dating. We’re deleting people before even meeting them. We’re throwing people in the friend-zone before we even meet them, based on just texts.

This doesn’t work. It doesn’t work. These apps, they don’t really work well for me. Anyway, I’m going to go back, and I’m going to go play on Tinder, and I’m going to go play on Bumble, and I’m going to go have some fun. Because dating is that.