So you’re divorced.

And that’s it.

You passed the point of ever thinking about getting back together with your ex. That tends to plague a lot of people who have kids. You want to do it for the sake of the children. You love your children, you want them to have a family and a home. I get all those emotions. Those are some of the same things that I battled with with my ex and I battled with internally.

Being apart from your kids is one of the toughest things out there.

When my daughter woke up this morning, she looked at me and she said, “Daddy, I’m staying over again tonight, right?” I told her no, this weekend. And she got a look of, oh no. She wanted more. I wanted more. But that’s what divorce is: separating from somebody you don’t want to be with anymore, so you can have quality time with your kids.

So eventually, one or both of you are going to move on and you find you that your ex is with another man.

My first reaction was to jump up and down and party.

Why? Because she’s now somebody else’s problem.

Alright, that’s a joke, but you get what I’m saying. She’s somebody else’s responsibility. Somebody else can deal with her emotions. Somebody else can deal with her things. Somebody else can love her. Somebody else can step up to the plate and be the man that she’s looking for.

Somebody else can create a family if they want more kids with them. So yeah, my reaction was to jump up and down because I was really happy. It is until your ex moves on or finds somebody else, there’s always going to be this energetic what if connection.

What if you guys can reconcile? What if you guys can work it out?

And that “what if” allows you to stay in this gray area for a long period of time.

So you can’t stand your ex and you find out that they’re with somebody else and you literally go out and party your head off because they’re somebody else’s financially responsibility now.

Whatever it is or whatever it might be, the beauty of having your ex find somebody else runs deep on so many levels. And it’s great that there’s no longer that “what if” anymore. That “what if we can get back together?” Life moves on in such a positive way.

So you want to root for your ex to find somebody. Especially for you guys that aren’t financially tied to them. It’s a good thing. Let somebody else have them. See what their dynamic is with somebody else. Wish them happiness. Because that’s what it’s all about: wishing the other person happiness.

Just because it didn’t work between the two of you, doesn’t mean it can’t work with somebody else. And that’s what we need to do for each other. We need to support one another, support your ex, not monetarily, but emotionally. Allow them to find love and happiness. Allow your kids to experience somebody else. There’s nothing wrong with having a step-dad or step-mom or any of that stuff. It’s all about allowing.