Recently, I was on the dating site, Bumble.

I’ve rarely met women on dating apps, it’s just not me, but I still like to be on them.

I like to be on them because you never know who you are going to meet, connect with, you never know what might happen. You might end up just having a nice conversation with somebody who is in the same business as you. You might learn something from a conversation. You might meet somebody who becomes a great friend or you might even meet somebody you have a relationship with.

But the word conversation needs to be taken lightly when it comes to online dating.

Most of it is done via texting. Texting is not a conversation; texting is a way to stay connected once a relationship is already established, not to form a whole new relationship.

Creating a Fantasy

I was corresponding with this woman. Apparently, we met once before; I guess on one another app.

We had never really connected because most of the time on these apps you just don’t connect. It is hard to feel somebody via texting or through pictures.

online fantasyBut she told me that if I was interested in her pictures I would want to meet her. Pictures. This is what it comes down to. I don’t feel chemistry from pictures and anybody who does is creating a chemistry story.

You can’t look at somebody’s picture and actually feel anything, even attraction. And truthfully, so much of the time, people don’t look like their pictures anyway. Unfortunately, in online dating and app dating, people feel the need to put up pictures of themselves that are outdated and look nothing like the person they are now.

I can’t begin to tell you the amount of times I’ve seen pictures of a woman with long hair and short hair and both pictures look completely different. I’ve actually seen pictures of the same person when they’re skinny, heavier, and I don’t know where they are at right now. How can you be sure who she is at this point? You can’t form an opinion of somebody based on pictures.

This woman I was talking to on Bumble told me that if I liked her pictures I’d want to go out with her. Liked her pictures. I’m a little deeper than just trying to create a chemical story based on just what I see from pictures.

Pictures and a couple of lines of text don’t get me excited about somebody. I’m a grown man.

I’ve met many people from the online world and, most of time, from the story that I created from the pictures and words that we exchanged, I don’t experience the chemistry that I so desire.

Because the reality is until you actually meet somebody in person, nothing is ever going to happen.

Texting can be misinterpreted.

People can read into things via text and create a whole fantasy story. The story of you and them.

The Excitement is in the Meeting

I can’t get excited about some text between a stranger and myself, or some pictures that I’ve seen, knowing that the majority of people don’t even look like their pictures anyway. How many times have I told women that they should post current pictures, no angle shots? I’ve gone over the Online Dating Profile No No’s for Women. But, every single day I look online and there are more angle shots and more pictures that don’t represent who they are at this moment.

That’s just life. It was funny because this woman I was talking to so wanted somebody to be excited about her. And I wrote to her and told her no one can get excited about anybody until they meet them.

I can’t get excited about a picture. I can’t get excited about words on a screen; that’s not romance, it’s not the way things work, it’s not a relationship. I get excited about meeting somebody when I meet them, and it takes a lot to get me to meet somebody, as it should you too.

But if someone actually starts showing personality, spunk, that’s the person you want to meet.