What To Do After Your Heartbreak
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So you’ve met a guy.
You were ready for a relationship.
You had been praying to the universe, to God, whoever you believe in and the universe delivered what you think is a pretty damn good guy.
You date him for awhile, things seem to be going really well. You even meet his mother, Mrs. Bates.
You have sex, and the sex is good. And then, all of a sudden, the man pulls back and you become heartbroken.
You can’t believe that you’re heartbroken yet again.
You trusted another man who let you down.
Or maybe you just ignored the warning signs from the get-go.
Ignoring the Heartbreak Warning Signs
I truly believe that when we want something so badly and we try to find that thing that we want, we tend to ignore the warning signs and we create this whole story about this person that really isn’t true.
If you think about the reason why you’re heartbroken right now, does it have anything to do with the fact that the things that you basically ignored about this person from the beginning are the same reasons why it didn’t work out?
You’re a smart woman and you understand what I’m saying right now. As a matter of fact, you’re not pissed off yet because you tend to realize that, even though you’re heartbroken, the heartbreaking didn’t really last that long; it turned out to be a very short break of the heart.
But then you come to that crossroads.
So you take a shot of tequila. Take a deep breath and you put yourself back out there again.
But, when you’re out there again and you start meeting some people and you just don’t want to be heartbroken again, you start questioning. How do you trust someone? What do you do? You’re almost not trusting your own judgment.
So here you are, you’re sitting on a couch with somebody on a Saturday night having a shot of tequila.
The person you’re hanging with is pretty cool, but the fact of the matter is you don’t know what to do because you basically don’t want to get hurt again. You think to yourself, I’m just going to put up as many walls as I possibly can and if any guy is really strong enough, if they want me enough, they’re going to climb over every fucking wall because they’re Superman.
Let Go of Heartbreak
So what happens? How do you let it go? How do you get over him? How do you let go of the heartbreak?
That’s a good question and it’s a question a lot of women ask over and over again and I’m going to explain it to you right now.
In life, there is no guarantee.
At all. The only guarantee that I’m going to give you right now, and you better be prepared for it, is prices will continue to go up.
The price of real estate in LA will be outrageous.
And you’re going to die.
Those are the only guarantees.
Are you going to be heartbroken again? Most likely.
Because in order to love, in order to find love, you’ve got to take a chance.
Everybody I know is pretty much closed off. What’s funny and sad about that, if you look at the percentages, if you want to go and trade stocks, and Amazon goes up instead of down one day, you become heartbroken about Amazon, and you lose a lot of money. But, if you ever want to make that money back, what do you need to do? You need to go back out there in the stock market and trade again. Everything you do in life has ups and downs. There’s going to be days that are positive, days that are negative, moments that are good, moments that are bad.
And the fact is you’ve got to take the ebb and the flow of life.
In business, you can make money one year and lose money the following year. If you quit when you lose money, then the next year, which is the year that you were going to make five times the amount of money, is never going to happen because you’re emotionally, physically and mentally shut down.
Be 100% Open to Love
You see, love has no boundaries. In order to find love again, you’ve got to be 100% open to it because if you go in and you’re scared that you’re going to get heartbroken again, you’re going to find somebody that’s going to break your heart again because what you think about, you bring about. That’s the way the universe works.
It’s a really wonderful theory. If you want to look at your life, you can basically put your life into a beautiful little note pad and see that every time you thought negative, you got negative in there.
In order to find love, you’ve got to be 100% open to it with no expectations whatsoever.
A lot of women will look at me and say that’s a guy thing. That’s a guy way of thinking.
But, in reality, it’s not really a male way of thinking at all. It’s not a gender way of thinking. It’s not a male way of thinking or a female way of thinking. It’s just a healthy way of thinking.
I know a lot of neurotic men that will get their hearts broken and vow, “I’m never going to go out again,” and sit around crying in their underwear. They’re terrified. They sit around on the couch the whole time and don’t put themselves out there again. That’s a scared way of living.
If you’re going to live scared, you’re going to bring scared into your life. If you’re going to live strong and realize that by opening up, by experiencing life, by having no expectations, by putting yourself out there, by opening your heart, you’re going to find love sometime in your life. Other times in life, you’re going to find somebody that doesn’t want to connect with you on that deep level.
And if you’re 100% in tune with who you are, guess what’s going to happen? You’re going to see the warning signs from the get-go. You’re not going to make the same mistake that you did before. You’re not going to sleep with the person that’s going to hurt you. You might sleep with somebody else who, all of a sudden, you have a year or two relationship with. You’re going to make the right decisions.
Since I started living my life this way, I have not been heartbroken at all. As a matter of fact, I’ve met wonderful people. I’ve been open. I’ve been vulnerable. I’ve been real. I’ve been authentic. I’ve been everything. And I haven’t really been heartbroken because I don’t look at heartbroken as a bad thing. I look at it as a good thing because every single time your heart’s broken, it means you’ve learned another lesson. When you’ve learned a lesson, you are able to grow as a person. You’re able to relate better to people, and you’re able to connect with somebody on a much deeper level.
Let Go of Fear and Let Love Out
I have no fear at all, and neither should you. There are no guarantees in life except prices will go up.
Taxes are due on the 15th.
You’re going to die.
So here’s the deal. Do you want to die with love trapped inside your heart? Locked in there and not shared with anyone? Because I know a lot of people that did.
My mother died with love trapped inside her heart.
She never found the love of a man in her 73 years on this planet. So, when she was taken by cancer, she never had the opportunity to love. She never found the love, so she died with love inside her, lots of love inside her. That’s the one thing she always wanted was love. She gave up because she became bitter and she’d become angry. She stopped being vulnerable. She said she’d never get hurt again after Gerard, this scumbag of a man, hurt her.
You can’t think this way at all. We’re here to love one another. We’re here to give love, and love is something that’s an unconditional feeling. It’s not something if you give it, you’re going to get it back. It’s a feeling, it’s an energy. If you’re sitting across from somebody, give them as much love as you possibly can. Hold them tight, kiss them, and make them feel wonderful, and guess what: if you’re expecting nothing, you’ll get back so much more.
In life, you are definitely going to learn all your greatest lessons through living it with an open heart.
So for those of you who are afraid of getting hurt again, for those of you who think you’re going to get hurt again, for those of you who are afraid to put it out there and afraid of vulnerability, I strongly suggest you lock yourself up – just take your chastity belt and put it around you right now. Lock yourself up in a little closet, and on the door of the closet write FEAR. Then inside the closet just sit there and sway and rock back and forth.
Just allow the years to pass by.
Because the only people that ever truly get what they want in life are the ones that take risks in all aspects of life – in love, business, finance, and everything. Go for what feels really good. Trust that beautiful instinct, that feeling in your heart, that feeling in your gut. Trust it and see what happens. I sound like a preacher right now, so I’m going to end this blog with an Amen. Amen, there you go. Call me Preacher Dave at this point because this is some lecture.
Nowadays, dating is more competitive than it’s ever been — download this free report to learn 6 proven skills to stand apart & succeed in the modern dating world.
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Vonnie
Wednesday, May 4th, 2016
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Debbie
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Wednesday, May 11th, 2016