Have you seen this man?

He’s charming.  He’s amazing.  He tells you he wants a relationship.  He says all the right things.

Your phone blows up with great texts.

You tell your friends that you think you’ve found the one or maybe one that would stick.

He doesn’t even try sleeping with you for a few days.  He seems to do everything right.

Everything.

So you decide to reward him and you sleep with him.

You wake up in the morning everything’s great. He makes you breakfast. He even likes to cuddle.

And then he does what a lot of these snake-oil salesmen do.

He doesn’t call you. Nothing.

Then a few days pass before you even get a text from him.

He tells you he’s been busy, stressed out, and working like crazy, but he’s thinking about you and the night you were together was ‘pretty amazing.’

You’re pissed. You’re angry. But he’s so charming and he brings you back to that moment.

And then what happens? You do it again. You go out with him again. You sleep with him again and he does the same thing all over again.

So, ladies, here’s my advice: Do you want a relationship? Then when you’re on a date—your first date—you need to ask him what he wants first.

That’s right. Don’t volunteer the information. Ask him what he wants.

Let him try to figure it out on his own.

And watch him.

A man that really wants a relationship can look you straight in the eyes and tell you honestly that he wants a relationship.  A man that’s authentic and real can look you straight in the eyes.

A man that’s fabricating a story—because he wants to get laid and no man is ever going to tell you that he just wants to get laid—will look past you or down or up. What he won’t do is firmly look you in the eye.

He expected you to tell him that you wanted a relationship so he could have just agreed with you.

Don’t make it easy on them.

Weed them out from the start and you’ll never be stuck with that snake oil salesman again.