Do you remember the movie The Graduate?

For those of you who have lived in a bubble and have never watched it, it’s one of the greatest movies of all time about male / female relationships.

And of course a woman named Mrs. Robinson.

Mrs. Robinson, wow.

Mrs. Robinson was played by, Anne Bancroft.

Mrs. Robinson was the hot mother on the block. And Mrs. Robinson seduced Benjamin a recent college graduate.

Benjamin liked Mrs. Robinson’s daughter, but Mrs. Robinson’s daughter never slept with Benjamin because he was sleeping with her mom.

Sounds like a modern day soap opera? Well, it’s not.

You see, Benjamin ended up falling in love with Mrs. Robinson’s daughter. And he decided to strap on his balls and fight his way through the streets of San Francisco to get to her wedding and stop it.

That’s right, she was going to go marry somebody else. She was going to marry a guy who she thought she was compromising to be with.

Why? Well, she had a feeling.

Benjamin showed up to the wedding, and he told her how much he loved her and took her away, because the whole time, she did love him.

I don’t want to ruin the movie, but it’s a great movie about relationships. It’s a movie that you definitely need to watch. Once, twice, three times. Because you’ll learn so much about what you need to be doing, as a man.

No, not screwing somebody’s mother. What men need to be doing in order to become a man.

You see, Benjamin went after her like his life depended on it and he hadn’t even sleep with her.

Why does this Mrs. Robinson and The Graduate moment come to fruition today?

I was talking to a friend of mine recently. He likes this woman. Let’s call her Swim Coach Mom.

Her son is a big swimmer. They meet at a hot, sticky pool once a week.

They flirt. They hang out. They almost went out, but she decided to get back together with Mr. Lawyer.

She doesn’t really love Mr. Lawyer.

She knows he’s the wrong man, but she’s giving him another chance because she is the Another Chance Woman.

You know who you are when you keep giving the wrong man another chance because you think he’s going to change, grow, and evolve.

He’s never done it before, the modern woman feels like she’s put in time and energy, and she is never going to get that time back.

But really, she is just too afraid to be alone again. That’s a whole other blog post for another day.

So my friend got on the phone with me, and we started talking. He said to me, David, I’ve talked to some of my friends. My friend Jane said that I should just leave her alone.

I said to him, Why do you want to leave her alone? How do you feel about her?

He said, Honestly, every single time we meet, I get a feeling. I feel like we have that zing that you and I talk about over and over again.

Well, if you’re feeling it, I said, she’s probably feeling it too, because you’re pretty in touch.

You don’t make things up. You don’t make up romances in your head. You don’t have seductions in your head that don’t exist.

You’re a pretty in-tune guy, so I strongly, truly believe that you are feeling something and so is she. But she’s too afraid because she’d rather stay with Mr Lawyer, the guy who doesn’t turn her on.beautiful_girl

You found out about her sex life. She complained about it to you. You’ve talked about enough things at the pool to know that she’s not satisfied. She’s just living in fear because she’s the type of woman who isn’t going to leave a man until another man shows up and sweeps her off her feet.

There are a lot of woman like that. I call them relationship gypsies. They don’t like being single. They go from one relationship to the next because that’s what they’ve always done. 

They’ve done this because that’s the habit they have fallen into. Being alone scares the shit out of them. So, they would rather stay in something that is half satisfying than be alone and have the chance of ever meeting someone again.

It’s going to take a modern man, a man like you, to step up to the plate and pursue her. 

He said to me, I can do it.

Let me tell you something. Jessica, Denise and Ellen. Three of my best relationships were all with women who were with the wrong man.

They were all women who I met, who flirted with me, and we felt that spark, that zing, that magic, that chemistry.

They were all women who were afraid to leave the guy they were with. So, what did I do?

Well, some of you might get uncomfortable with this, but I didn’t care.

I didn’t pursue them in the sense of pursuing them. Meaning I didn’t put all of my eggs in one basket. But whenever I saw them, I would make sure they knew that I was attracted to them.

I made sure they knew there was another man out there who was better matched for them, because I would call them out on their relationship bullshit that they were having with the guys. So, what happens with the three women up above?

Every single one of them turned into a relationship for me. Every single one of them ended up leaving the other guy, and ended up being with me.

The three of them ended up leaving a man for me. The three of them fell in love with me. They told me they loved me before I even uttered those words to them because they told me they were leaving their boyfriend because they were in love with me.

That’s what a lot of women do. They go from one to the next. They slowly process out of a relationship while they’re in a relationship. They slowly start bringing themselves in, and when they feel healthy enough to leave the relationship, they feel strong enough to express their feelings for the new man.

They make their move. It’s the way they’re wired. It’s who they are as women.

So, I looked at my friend, and I said ignore the advice of other people, and you go out there, and you take her out for a juice.

You go take her to Kreation for a juice, and you go state your needs.

Tell her you like her. 

Seduce her.

 Make her feel great. But only do it if you authentically want to be with her, because that’s the key here. You can’t just do it for the conquest.

All of those women that I was talking about, every one of them, I knew through my life experiences that they were catches. They were catches that I wanted to be with. Women who I wanted to pursue a relationship with.

When you’re a real man, you will pursue a relationship with a woman. You will go out with her one time or two times, and you will look at her and say, I want to pursue a relationship with you. I want to get to know you. 

You don’t need to say it in those terms, but you need to do it through your actions. Most people are about words, but actions speak louder. Pursue a relationship with somebody before they even know it.

They’ll be leaving that guy, and they’ll be leaving him for you.