Be a man.

What does it mean when I say that? Be a man.

Right now, before you read another word, I want you to step up right now, and I want you to be a man.

I want you to define what it means.

I give you permission to read the rest of this article. But before you do, I want you to realize that you have homework to do right now. The homework is to define what being a man means.

Be a man when it comes to love.

Falling in love, showing up in the beginning of a relationship, creating a dynamic between two people, takes a man to drive the emotional car.

The problem today is that we’re always looking for validation. We’re looking for safety when it comes to driving the beginnings of a relationship. But being a man means you need to drive it 100%.

Women are soft. Women are cuddly. Women are warm. Women are affectionate. Women are vulnerable.

A woman may slay the business world.

She may be a dynamic business person and an incredible mother, but when it comes to a love relationship, a woman is just a scared little girl who is looking for her prince to show up.

She needs you to drive the car, especially in the beginning.

You may be open about your feelings. I know many times when I was younger, I used to rehearse my feelings in front of a mirror. Make fun of me all you want, but that’s the way I became more open and vulnerable.

I used to have conversations with myself about how I would go about expressing my feelings to a woman.

What’s interesting is that whenever I had those conversations in my head, when I expressed my feelings to a woman, she never said the things back that I wanted to hear. The reason being that you’re dealing with a woman who needs to feel safe. She needs to build trust. And that takes time.

We all know that moment when we meet somebody, we’re inspired. We’ve met our muse.

We all know that moment. We’ve all experienced it, and it’s a beautiful moment. But as a man, it means you need to drive the emotional car.

Which means you’re going to have to express the way you feel and expect nothing back.hqdefault

You might write her a beautiful email.

You might send her a text telling her you’re thinking about her.

And you’re going to have to allow nothing to come back.

You see, she’s a woman. She’s more vulnerable when it comes to matters of the heart, even though we know men are sensitive and vulnerable too. Being men, we know that. But for a woman, she needs to feel safe in order to make you feel safe.

You need to drive the emotional car. You need to be okay with allowing her to process every single thing you say to her.

You may say beautiful things to her that may blow her away. She may not say the things you want to hear, but I guarantee that she’s taking them into her soul, and she’s making sure that the actions back up the words.

What she’s doing is listening to you. She’s hearing your words, she’s taking them in, but she’s heard it all before.

She’s a woman. She’s beautiful. Men have pursued her before. Men have said amazing things to her at the beginning of a relationship, in the heat of passion, that have made her heart absolutely pound in anticipation.

What she’s looking for is the actions behind the words. Words mean nothing to a woman if the actions are not there to back them up. So that’s why you as a man need to drive the emotional car.

It’s up to you to throw the words out there and back them up with actions. The more actions you back them up with, the more the words are going to sink in, the safer she is going to feel, and the more she is going to come around to blossom in front of you.

Seeing a woman blossom in front of you takes strength and power.

It takes a lot of strenuous time, and I’m not talking about physically strenuous, I’m taking about emotionally strenuous. When you start opening up to a woman and she doesn’t open up the same way, you think to yourself, ah, she doesn’t feel the same.

No, young Jedi, she probably does, more so than you ever imagined. Except she has heard it all before, and she needs to feel emotionally safe.

So put a seatbelt on. Drive the emotional car. Take the turns in the road where she might pull back for a day or two. Allow her to do that.

She’s listening. She’s waiting. She’s anticipating your next move.

She’s thinking about the beautiful things you’ve said to her, the words you expressed, or maybe the email you sent, or the text you sent. In today’s modern world, we have so many ways we can express our feelings and stay connected.

Be creative. Be romantic. Romance is alive. You need to be the person driving the emotional car.

Send her a Facetime video, take a minute to tell her you’re thinking about her.

Send her a little audio text so she can hear your voice, and be consistent, and be okay if she doesn’t respond.

It’s not that she doesn’t feel anything for you, it’s that she needs to be more cautious. She’s a woman, she’s looking for her rock.

She needs to feel safe no matter how successful she is, or how great of a mother she is, or great friend.

She needs to feel safe.

It’s your job to be strong, emotionally vulnerable, and not be held up for validation.

If you can drive this emotional car, you’re going to get the relationship you’ve never had before. It’s a beautiful thing.

Stay strong, my friend.

May the Force of love be with you.