if onlyIf only… I left five minutes earlier I wouldn’t have missed my flight.

If only… I told him what I was thinking, maybe the relationship would have been saved.

If only… I had slept with him earlier he would not have disappeared.

If only… I only traveled somewhere sooner.

If only I did this… If only I did that.

We live by the power of “if only.” We’re an indecisive “if only” culture. We love the words “if only.”

But what does “if only” say about you?

When you use “if only” over and over you are telling the universe you are not a decisive person, that your decisions lack conviction and power. The power of “if only.”

It’s the worst phrase in the world.  If I only had a brain, remember that from the ‘Wizard of Oz?’

What was wrong with the way he was?

I want you to take the words “if only” out of your vocabulary. As a matter of fact, I want you to forget that the phrase “if only” exists. I want you to start understanding and realizing that you need to stand behind your decisions every single day.

What If A Date Goes Wrong?

There is no “if only” in life. When you go out on a date, there is no recapping the date. Sitting with your friends and saying if only I had talked about this, if I only didn’t say this. That doesn’t exist. What exists is exactly the way you presented yourself, and that’s what makes life amazing. There is no if only. Be decisive, stand up, communicate, say what’s on your mind.

That way you’ll never use the phrase “if only” again.  I’ve done it too. I’ve made investments and said to myself, if only I didn’t do that I wouldn’t have lost that money. Or other things, if only I had bought that house, oh my god, I’ve said that 1,000 times as I’m sitting in a rental. If only I had bought it for 600,000 — it’s worth 900 now. If only I bought that I’d have an extra 300,000. I’ve done it all too often..

There are so many “if only” situations, even on simple things. I always buy the next size up in my pants… if only I had bought the right size. Funny. If only I bought that car in this color. But the beauty of life is that we make decisions every single day and we live with the results. There’s nothing we can do. We make a decision and we’ve got to live by that decision. When we live by our decisions, it means that we’re okay with it.

You can second-guess yourself for the rest of your life, but you’ll drive yourself nuts. So get rid of if only. You made a decision. You didn’t buy that house, you didn’t date that guy, you slept with that guy too soon, whatever. Move forward.

Realize that you are going to be constantly screwing up every single day. So just live by your decisions, they’re yours. They’re mistakes of your own. There is nothing wrong with a mistake.  We all make them every single day. You are never going to make every right decision. You’re never going to be perfect. You’re always going to leave life on the table.  You’re always going to do some things wrong. There’s always going to be stuff that doesn’t work. That’s what life is all about.

The power of if only… is that there is no if only.