dating out of controlI love me a spinner!

For me, spinners are the most fun.  Spinners are petite little women that you can have your way with in bed.  You can literally throw them around and spin them like a top.  But…. today I’m not going to talk about my love for those kind of spinners. I’m going to talk about women that spin out of control.

It’s an awful affliction that affects so many women. You’ll start dating a guy, you’ll start feeling insecure, and then you’ll start spinning out of control. Especially once you’ve slept with him. It’s amazing how a little bit of oxytocin can literally send the spinner in you wild. But here’s the deal.

When you’re spinning out of control, the last thing you want to do is let him know you’re spinning out of control.  I know sometimes it’s hard to resist that spinner text, but you really have to. Here’s a scenario…

You’re dating a guy. You’ve decided to sleep with him. You know you want a monogamous relationship, but you also want sex, which is really a tough thing for you to figure out. You decide to sleep with this man, even though you’ve sworn that you’re not going to sleep with anybody again until you have monogamy. You spin a little. It happens, and you have amazing sex.

Suddenly he’s not answering your messages the next day. He’s busy. He has a life. Then, just 48 hours after sleeping with him, you start spinning out of control. You know you shouldn’t send him that spinning text, but you do anyway.

The spinning text usually reads something like, “You know, I shouldn’t have slept with you. I went against my morals. I feel like we disconnected after we slept together.”

Meanwhile, all he was doing was having a life. He wasn’t pulling away from you. He wasn’t doing anything wrong.  You were allowing his non-actions to trigger you, based on what you had experienced in the past.

This is just one example of spinning out of control. It can be many different things. Usually when you spin out of control, you talk to your friends about it. Together, you amplify it and you spin even more. The biggest mistake you can make is to let a man know you’re spinning.  You see, the number one thing that will push a man away is when he sees a woman spin out of control because. We know it can happen, and we hope it doesn’t. It’s a female trait, and we accept it.

We already know that you’re a little crazy. We already know that you’ll have those moments. It’s okay with us too, because let me tell you, we have our neurotic moments too. I truly believe in the beginning part of dating when you’re spinning out of control, you’re being triggered by something that someone else did to you. The past is triggering you, and if you start spinning out of control so quickly, he’ll disappear.

When a woman becomes ‘a spinner’, a man becomes a runner, and vanishes.

So, what I want you to do the next time you feel the urge to spin out of control, is to look deeper and ask yourself, “What is triggering this feeling?”

Why do you feel triggered right now?

A lot of times you realize it’s something that happened to you in the past, and the man is really doing absolutely nothing wrong. His silence, his lack of contact all day is because he’s working, not because he’s done something to you. That trigger is based on your past, and that spinning is going to push him away.

Ask yourself what’s triggering you, and deal with it yourself, but don’t show him. The second you show him you’re a ‘spinner’, he’s going to become a runner.