the perfect womanHere’s an alert. Here’s the news. Breaking news across the wire…

You see, we’re all so caught up in not hurting somebody. Not leading somebody on. Not being pleasant, not being this, finding love, finding this, worried being politically correct and…

1. A Lot Of Us Are Going Too Long Without Sex

Think about the last time you jerked off. It was pretty recent, right?

Think about the last time you checked out porn. Once again, it was recent. Think about the last time you went out with a woman who was into you. You thought to yourself, “I don’t want to lead her on. She likes me and she’s fun. But I don’t think she’ll be my girlfriend.”

So maybe you’ve fooled around with her a little bit. And then out of nowhere you start to feel guilty.

2. She is a Grown Woman

She has needs, wants and desires. You think she likes to sit around with her vibrator 24/7 trying to get off?

If she likes you she’s going to let you know. She may just want to hang out, and have somebody that’s cool to hang with. The best way to find out is to ask her. But there are a lot of women searching for a casual relationship. They want someone to catch a movie with once a week. They want to have some good sex. You can do all of this while you’re both searching for your significant other, for the love of your life.

It’s funny how guilty we feel if we enjoyed somebody. But there’s no reason for guilt if the sex is consensual. It just boils down to being honest about what you want. If you go out with a woman, and she makes out with you and you make out with her, maybe the two of you spend the night dry humping or whatever, she’s doing it by choice.

You need to look at her at the end of that night, and say, “Hey I enjoyed your company. I like hanging with you. I can’t promise you where it’s going to go, but we should hang out again.”

Unfortunately what a lot of men do is:

Start making new excuses. Meaning, you probably liked her, you’re into her, but she’s not the perfect person for you. Instead of just enjoying who she is in the moment, you’re thinking about the perfect person who might be out there waiting for you. Your special someone may or may not come in your life in the next six months.

Instead of just enjoying another human being and growing, you get so caught up with finding the right person. You start making excuses as to why you can’t be with the person in front of you. Instead of saying:

I think we should’ve talked about this before we got together. I’m not looking for something serious right now.

Instead of behaving like adult most men and I’ve done it before to so I’m not pointing fingers, use the number one guy excuse out there:

I’m really busy with work now.

How idiotic? Believe me she’s heard it a thousand times.

If men bothered to ask women what they wanted they’d be surprised by the answer. She just wants to have fun. You just automatically assume, they only want the BIG commitment, and this is your big mistake. Maybe she hasn’t had sex in six months either. Maybe she’d enjoy a good booty call.  Maybe she knows you’re safe, because you decided to have the conversation with her.

It’ll be fun just to hang out and have sex once in a while. You have to put all the options on the table.

3. Perfection Doesn’t Exist

Don’t be so caught up in finding your wife or the love of your life. The best way to be present is to enjoy the people in your life. Here’s what’s funny about this, and I’m going to tell you a story about a woman I once went out with named Karen:

She was one of most beautiful women I ever saw. When Karen and I first went out, I was 23, she was 23, we were both living in New York City. We went out a few times, but me, Mr. Critical:

Thought she was a little too heavy for me. She had this beautiful face, but she was 20 pounds overweight, and I didn’t really give her much of a chance. I wanted to hang with her more, but I really wanted someone with a perfect body. So, I dismissed Karen.  A year later, I was out on Fire Island, hanging out with my friends on the beach.

We were walking back from the beach and all of sudden this beautiful brunette was walking towards us. All of sudden, my friends go, “Oh my God, she’s the most beautiful girl we’ve seen all day!”

From a distance, she says “David? David Wygant?”

As I walk closer I realize who she was.  She was a skinny version of Karen. She was exactly the way I thought that she could be. Ever since she stopped dating, she just kind of felt like she needed to get back into working out again.

My biggest issue with her — was her biggest issue with her.  She didn’t work out. I didn’t talk about it with her.  Didn’t even have an open conversation with her.  She looked at me, and she goes, “You kind of inspired me. I really liked you. 

You were in great shape, and we really connected and then all of sudden you fall off the face of the earth. So I looked at myself and realized, maybe I should just take better care of my fitness. I let myself go for a little while, and I liked the way that you look and I like the type of guy that you are.  So, I really wanted to attract a guy like you.”  

I was thinking to myself, “Here I am right now”

Then all of a sudden, a man’s voice came from a distance:

“Hey, Karen, babe, where are you?”

She introduced us to her boyfriend.

4. The People We Dismiss Tend to Have Goals

Most people are trying to become better version of themselves. Stop looking at somebody who is 20 pounds overweight and think they’re always going to be that way.  Give somebody a chance. Ask them what they’re looking for and have fun with them.  You never know how you’re going to inspire them.  You never know if you’re going to make them feel great.

You never know how you’re going to impact and change their life. Remember they’re grown adults.  When I think about Karen, God knows what she looks like now. I should have given her a better chance. This is how I spent a lot of my early 20’s dismissing people too quickly before I got to know who they were.

The girl you meet might be a little uptight on the first date, but it might be a temporary thing. Give her another chance.  Give her an opportunity to show who she is, and tell her what you’re looking for. She might just be cool with hanging out, and having a good time.

 

God knows you need to get laid.