Here’s a story that a friend of mine just told me and it’s a story that always comes in to my in-box. The story that I hear every single day yet women continue to get into these relationships with men that really don’t want what they want.

See the beauty of who you are as a woman is that you think you can change the way a cave man thinks.

The beauty of a woman is that you listen but when you listen to men you don’t hear what he has to say. And in turn you always interpret it as ways to change him, or ways to make him love you more.

I’m going to share with you a story that my friend told me while sitting by the pool in Maui.

It’s a story so typical that it really makes me want to share it with all of you so you can no longer keep making the mistakes you are making.

She has a friend, a beautiful woman.

Ends up with this man, her dream man for some odd reason or another. Even though the man never tells her he loves her, she tells him she loves him. They end up living together. Why… because the man is basically not evolved like a woman. He figures ‘why not’.

I will live with her. I get sex, I get cooked for, I get cleaned up after. It’s good enough for me. I don’t need to be in love. I don’t need to have a deep romantic relationship. This works great for me.

The woman, head over heels in love, keeps thinking… now that he’s living with me he’s going to fall in love with me the way I want him to.

Every single time she tells him that she loves him, he looks at her and says ‘I don’t love you’. He’s telling her the truth but she doesn’t want to listen.

She looks at him and she says, ‘I really want a baby right now’.

Well that’s what a lot of people do, they just add a baby to a bad relationship. That’s the biggest thing because women believe that once a man sees that beautiful baby, once a man sees his son or his daughter he’s going to fall in love with not only the son or daughter but with the mother too.

There must be a story that women have read over and over again, from the cradle, from birth, because things don’t really work that way.

So she goes off the pill, he looks at her and says ‘I really don’t want a baby, I really don’t want any of this’.

Then in turn, she gets pregnant.

What ensues is — well you know exactly what ensues.

Two people going their separate ways, single parents, and a woman still trying to figure out what went wrong.

You know what went wrong, she just didn’t listen.

Listen to Your ManI love you all. I love women. I think you’re great and you are beautiful, I love looking at you and I love listening to you and I love sitting by a pool in Maui checking out all of you walking around in your little bikinis. I like to flirt and I like to enjoy myself with you. But I ask you all to do one thing moving forward.

Listen.

A man tells you exactly who they are. He told you he doesn’t love you. Why are you going to try to convince somebody who doesn’t love you to love you? It’s not going to work, it never does. You’re never going to change somebody.

If a man tells you he doesn’t want a family. A family is not going to change him.

A man tells you exactly what he wants and who he is.

I do it every single day. I wake up, and say, ‘I want breakfast’.

A woman will look at me and say, ‘do you want coffee, do you want orange juice’. No, I just want breakfast.

She’ll look at me and say, ‘would you like some water in there or something’. No, I just really just want breakfast.

I remember I was sitting in my room one time, watching a game and my girlfriend came in and looked at me and said, ‘do you really want to watch that game all day’. Yes I do.

‘Don’t you want to go hiking, won’t it be fun, then we’ll go see a movie’.

No, I really want to watch this game, and on the seventh day, the man decided to be a cave man and watch NFL football.

We state who we are, we state what we want, and you need to listen to us.

As for the deep emotional things, we’re never going to be as deep emotionally as you are. Some of us are, some of us aren’t. So, you have to look at the man you’re dating and ask yourself. Are you trying to make him have the same emotions and feelings you have? It doesn’t work.

He’s not all of a sudden going to spend 45 years of his life as a cave man and the next 20 years of his life as a deep emotional man who cries while watching “Eat Pray Love”.

We will not change. You need to stop going into these relationships expecting that. What you need to do is start finding men who are more like you, more aligned with you. Listen to them. They tell you who they are in the first 30 days. You know exactly the type of man he is, his emotional capacity, who he is, what he’s all about. It’s just you don’t listen.

So, how many of you have kids right now with a man that you knew all along wasn’t going to be able to give you what you wanted.

How many of you are in a relationship right now with a man you knew really wasn’t going to give you what you wanted, and now you’re trying to figure out how to get out of there without feeling guilty, without feeling like you failed?

This better be an eye-opening wake up call to y’all.