overprotective boyfriendToday I have an amazing story and a great lesson for you guys. Women are NOT your possessions. You DON’T own your woman!

Tonight something happened to me that’s never happened to me in my whole life. I was so taken back by it I started laughing while it was all going down. Those of you who have followed me will know my friend Ray. He came over tonight to put my Daughter’s bike together, and to help me with her birthday party.

I’m dressed in a disgusting white T-shirt with a grease stain across it, a pair of shorts, my hair is a mess, and I haven’t showered yet. Ray is just dressed normally but doesn’t look special. We’re standing in line at Whole Foods to get some dinner. There’s a woman standing behind us. All she has is a bag of jerky so I said she could go in front of us. She laughed and said, “That’s OK. I’m fine.”

Then I said, “Is that beef jerky?”

She says, “Yeah.”

I say, “I like the packet. It matches your dress.”

We started talking. I joked and asked if tonight was all about cozying up with the beef jerky.

She smiled, lit up, and told me she had a birthday party to go to. It was just small talk but she was happy and lit up. Then the douche bag came in. There he was with his trendy beard, and hair combed to the side. He had a striped shirt on, tucked into a pair of shorts, and a pair of loafers on his feet. What happened next was crazy!

“Don’t talk to her again!” He said.

I was like, “What, now?”

“EVER!” He said.

I was laughing, thinking to myself, “Are you kidding me? If I blew on you, you’d fall down you have that little muscle tone.”

I started laughing because I didn’t think he was serious. I couldn’t believe anyone would be like that. The cash register lady looks over and says, “Hey, take it as a compliment. Your girl is cute.” 

Suddenly I see the girl rolling her eyes. This guy didn’t seem the type to be standing up getting mad because another guy was talking to his girl in Whole Foods of all places. So I looked at him and said, “Are you serious?”

He goes, “I’m harmless. I’m totally harmless.”

“Really? This is really weird.” I said.

So I looked at him and said, “Have a goodnight. See you in the future.”

I looked at his girl, and she was looking down at the ground now. I said to her, “Enjoy yourself tonight.”

As we’re leaving, the boyfriend is staring at us but in a goofy way. The way he looked just made me want to go and punch him. Obviously, I wouldn’t because he’s the kind of guy to start crying and calling his lawyer. Ray turns around and says, “What are you looking at? Seriously, what’s your problem?”

The guy looks at him and says, “Oh I’m harmless right.”

Do You Think Girls Want A Jealous Boyfriend?

I was laughing to myself because I knew he wasn’t getting laid the whole weekend. He just embarrassed the hell out of his girlfriend. She was so embarrassed she was looking down at the ground. She was going to scream at him so loud. Maybe it would take a couple of glasses of wine at the party, but then he was going to lose whatever little balls he had left.

Seriously, if you have a girlfriend and two guys are harmlessly flirting with her, take it as a compliment. Talk to the guys along with her. It shows a strong male. This guy knows damn well the girl he’s with is way too hot for him and he’s not going to keep her. His insecurities came out all over the place.

He was afraid of us too. Granted, I know I’m terrifying to look at in a stretched out white t-shirt with a grease stain across it, and messy hair from not showering. It’s amazing how insecure people are. You have a hot babe. Guys are talking to her. Enjoy it!

What a pussy he was and that’s the only way I can put it. He was a complete pussy. I love when people talk to whatever girl I’m with because I know she’s with me. I know she chose me, and wants to be with me. I can’t help it if she’s pretty and guys want to talk to her. He’ll never keep this girl. If this ever happens to any of you guys, talk to the guy flirting with your girl. The guy isn’t going to bag your chick and take her away. You know what’s going to push her away? Behaving the way this idiot did tonight.

Because she also knows that if push came to shove, and we’d have pushed him, there’s no way he’s shoving back. What a funny experience. I didn’t expect it at all. I hope you guys learned from it.