stick up for yourselfRecently I sent out a newsletter about the dangers of friends with benefits. It got a great response in general, but it also inspired one of you to write to me. As usual, that inspired me to go and kick a little more ass!

So, I got an email from a lady, “B” who wrote…

“Hey David,

Crazy how you mention that because I had just gotten out of a friends with benefits relationship. The guy said he wasn’t ready to commit but he just wanted to be friends with benefits.

Then at the same time, he was telling me he loves me, and he wants to live with me and be my man.

Now I’m just so confused about it because he keeps changing his mind about what he wants. One minute he says he’s not ready to be in a committed relationship, and the next minute he’s telling me he wants to marry me one day! What do I do, David?”

My response to B is very simple. Tell him to grow up. Tell him what you want, and if he can’t give it to you, move on. It’s really come to that point in the relationship. I also told her to stick up for herself and not get tied to the outcome. Words are a waste of his time and hers. Words mean nothing unless a man backs them up with actions.

When is he telling you he loves you? Is it normally when he’s inside you or just before sex?

It’s funny but a lot of men seem to start blurting out a ton of emotional garbage just before and during sex, which should tell you a lot about them. When a man’s actions don’t support his words, it’s time you stuck up for yourself and moved on.

Too many women waste so much time caught up with men never intend to commit to them. The trouble is, these women also don’t want to be single again, so they put up with his bad behavior in the hope one day he comes good and decides to commit to them. I see so many great women wasting their lives hanging on the words of a man who doesn’t care one bit about them. It makes me so mad some times.

Men need to walk the walk AND talk the talk. You deserve to be with a man who wants to commit to you. You deserve a man who honors who you really are. You deserve a man who puts you before most other things in his life. There’s no reason for you to ever accept less from a man, and there’s no reason for you to be with a man who can’t pull the trigger.

So the next time you’re with a man who gives you mixed signals over an extended period of time, you have to stick up for yourself. You have to tell him you deserve more. Tell him what you want from your relationship. He can’t keep on with this one foot in, one foot out approach any more. You desire more. You deserve more. And I want to make sure you get more!