Mixed signals from menI get thousands of emails every week, but you know which ones are my favorites by far? My favorite emails are the ones that ask me to be a mind reader. These emails usually come from women who have already spent countless hours talking to their friends, and speculating about why a man is behaving the way he is, or why he’s giving you mixed signals.

So what do you do if a man is giving you mixed signals?

Well, the first thing is you don’t email me because I don’t know this man personally. I have no idea why he’s giving you mixed signals. Don’t torture your friends with the speculation game, and break down every conversation you’ve ever had with this guy, because no matter how many times you phrase and rephrase the conversations, your friends won’t be able to tell you the genuine reason you’re getting mixed signals from this guy.

What your friends can do (and probably will) is give you the placebo dating advice effect. They’ll come up with something that sounds feasible, and you’ll gobble up the advice because your female brain needs to have some kind of answer, regardless of whether it’s the right one.

Some dating experts or dating coaches might give you a reason, but most the time you’ll get the answer because you paid them. I’m an honest guy, I care about you, and I care about the friends you’re driving nuts every couple of hours. I want you to have a fun time when you’re with your friends, not to waste it all torturing them about things you nor they can control.

For today only, I’m going to tell you the exact thing you do the next time you get mixed signals from a man. Ready for it? The next time a man gives you mixed signals, you’re going to call him up and have a conversation like two adults. The next time you feel a man is stringing you along, you’re going to sit down and talk about it. You’re going to ask him what his intentions are. You’re going to tell him you’re getting mixed signals and you’re confused.

Communication is the key to relationships. Without communication, you don’t have a good relationship. If you’re early into a relationship and you’re not sure where you stand, don’t waste time talking to your friends or emailing me. Find out exactly what’s going on. You might not always like the answer, but it’s better to know the truth rather than messing around with someone who isn’t interested in you.

When you’re upfront with a man like this, you’re setting the precedent for the relationship. You’re telling him you’re a woman who won’t let a man push her around. You’re showing him you’re not a woman he can take advantage of. In life, if you want the answer to a question, you should always go to the source. I know it’s difficult to go and have these conversations, but think about it this way…

The earlier you have this kind of conversation with a man, the easier it will be the have them in the future. I hate to break it to you, but during your dating life, you’re going to meet a ton of men who will give you mixed messages. Start getting used to communicating your intentions early to men. You’ll find less men mess you around, you’ll waste less time on men who don’t deserve you, and your friends will love the change in you too! You’ll also start to develop what I call, your “dating instinct.”

So ladies, from now on I don’t want any mixed signal emails OK? I want your friends to enjoy your company, and I know they don’t mind helping you out, but when you’re always playing the speculation game and moaning about guys, it must drive them a little crazy. In fact, I’m going to suggest all women pass this blog among their friends. If they don’t agree it’s a problem hearing other women speculating about men all the time, they’re probably the one doing the speculating.

If you want to know some of the COMMON reasons men give you mixed signals, you should check out “What Men Desire” which also reveals some of the reasons men go cold.