On Pussy Intoxication

By David Wygant March 16, 2013 403 Shares

ControlYourLife I’m in New York City this weekend.

I had dinner with a good friend of mine, John, who is a dating coach in New York.

John and I went to one of my favorite restaurants, Cafe Tutano, and had a great conversation about being intoxicated by pussy.

He shared a really great story about this girl that he was intoxicated by in his early 20s. Even after he found some really crazy things about her, he was still intoxicated by her pussy.

The sex, he said, was so amazing, that even to this day, he still remembers it like it was yesterday.

And that’s a problem. When you get so intoxicated by pussy, you tend to overlook so many other things about the woman.

It seems to only happen when you’re younger, but then again, it can happen at any age, especially if you haven’t had good pussy in a long time.

So what happens is you get intoxicated. The sex is just so damn good that you’ll overlook some of the crazy warning signs that are glaring at you every single day.

Now look, everybody you meet comes with baggage—we all know that; there’s no perfect person out there at all.

Everybody’s got their issues, and everybody’s got their crap, everybody’s got their things, and their fears and their insecurities. It’s just a matter of if you can put up with someone else’s insecurities, fears, and their stuff.

But it’s funny, when you’re younger and you haven’t had good pussy in awhile, you tend to get intoxicated by it, and you overlook some really crazy things…like the fact that she may not be a good person.

So the next time you’re intoxicated by a woman, try to look a little bit harder, and make sure that the person you’re intoxicated by is everything that you think they are, and it’s not just great sex that’s clouding your judgment.

I used to be somebody that would be intoxicated by great sex. Now, I get intoxicated by a great person, and of course, great sex is #2.

So open your eyes a little bit more and make sure what you think you’re getting is exactly what you want, and make sure the person is exactly who you think they are.

About David

1.7 million men & women come to me every month to find the secrets to success. And after 20 years of coaching, I’ve discovered the golden keys to success in dating, business, health and wellness, and life.

I’ve helped millions of men and women around the globe achieve success in their dating, social and personal lives. I’m also a father to the world’s cutest little girl, and I am an unapologetic man. Some say I’m nuts, others say I’ve changed their life forever. One thing’s for certain: I’ll always give you the truth, whether you can handle it or not. I never sugar coat anything.

Nice is so overrated. I’d prefer brutally honest breakthrough to a “nice” rut any damn day of the week. If you’re the same way, then you've come to the right place.

85 Comments | Join the Discussion!

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e

Saturday, March 16th, 2013

I'm intoxicated by that photo (2nd pic from the left under "7 kinky things women wish men knew." Might not really be pussy, more like super pretty faces that put a spell on me.

Peter

Saturday, March 16th, 2013

With all due respect, when the sex is good, a man will always come back, no matter what. Always. There is no way attraction, or even liking someone, can be rationalized.

David

Sunday, March 17th, 2013

The man who comes back to a chick solely because of sex is a man who has no other options. A desperate man. Not all men are desperate.

Rose Red

Saturday, March 16th, 2013

You're right!! An old friend met a young Asian woman she sexed him up so good that he was ready to give her keys to his house and car within a week so we did an intervention! Thats what friends are for. She ended up having a hidden kid and just trolling for an older white man with money. Still to this day he brags about the good sex, smh.

Grant

Sunday, March 17th, 2013

To David and/or whomever wants to chime in on this one. There's this woman I like who unbeknownst to me happened to have started her new job at a bar the same night that I visited the same bar. I run into her and she gives me a big hug and we talk about different things and then she gives me her number and says call me anytime or something to that affect. I then head off to the local Casino and hang out there for awhile but I soon head home as I started a brand new intense exercise routine this week and my body is still pretty aching and sore. I'm at home and I get an impulse to give this woman a call. Normally I would have waited but I followed David's advice of saying the hell with the rules of calling her in two days or whatever. My call went to voice mail as I expected because she was working. I asked if she wanted to get together after work or to play miniature golf on Sunday. I haven't heard back from her and I'm thinking how is that even possible. How does someone say call me and then not return my call? She doesn't have to say yes to any of my requests because I have no attachment to those outcomes but I feel that she still has to woman-up and return my call otherwise it shows me that she has a huge lack of respect for me and a huge lack of common courtesy. At the end of the day why would I ever want to have anything to do with anyone who was so disrespectful and showed such a huge lack of common courtesy. Some of you might say hey chill out Grant and hey sometimes people don't return phone calls and I get that but how to you NOT return the very FIRST call and not expect huge consequences. Now maybe I'm being a bit of a d*ck here and blowing this all out of proportion but hey lack of respect and lack of common courtesy are two huge red flagged deal-breakers for me. So what the hell do I do? I refuse to call her but don't really need to because I'll very likely see her this or next Wed as we attend the same meeting and then a group of us goes out to Boston Pizza afterwards. In other words me seeing her face to face again is inevitable. So what do I do as I really like this girl and this seems out of character for her but maybe what I've been seeing of her is a public persona and I really have no idea of who she really is. Help!!!

Justin

Thursday, March 21st, 2013

Grant, Very simple. Wait til you see her again and ask her whats up. keep your cool and find out what the deal is. You'll know what to do based on her response. And most importantly, DO NOT OBSESS over her. Practice abundance. If she doesnt work out theres always another. Hope that helps!

Grant

Thursday, March 21st, 2013

Hi Justin, I left my second and final message. It's 11:22pm and I haven't heard back from her yet. If I don't hear back from her then I know that I'm dealing with an immature woman as a mature woman would have called me back. If she's this immature then I have no romantic interest in her as it would just end up being a big headache for me.

Technoboy

Wednesday, March 20th, 2013

Boy can I relate to your post, Grant. I don't think you are being a dick in this case and am nodding my head as I am reading your story. BUT I'm afraid you would limit your options if you insist on a woman being direct and having common courtesy for strangers :(. I'm afraid being direct is a masculine personality trait. I bet you she thinks she is just being 'nice'. Had a woman keep telling me how much she'd like to go out but darn, there's always this other thing. Then she finally caved in and made sure to show up with another guy. My last workplace had a vast majority of women. They gave me the Office Space treatment. They did not fire me per se, but just cut me off from requests and assignments until I got the 'point'. While telling me verbally that they were always right on top of it. Oops, wait, I'm supposed to support you and say something to boost your faith in womankind. Sorry about that :(. They're not ALL like that, Grant. Just a lot of them are, that's all.

Grant

Wednesday, March 20th, 2013

Hi Technoboy, thank you for commenting! Thing is she isn't a stranger I've known her since August of 2012 and will likely see her later today unless she chickens out and doesn't come to the weekly meetings. This is just the first time she gave me her number. Now there is a chance that there was some kind of electronic malfunction and she never got my message but if not she's gotta show up and face the music is she wants to attend these meetings. So I've decided to be cordial but not friendly and with me that will be a noticeable difference and I'll let her bring it up as I ain't gonna say anything. But for all I know she may be feeling real guilty so I'm not gonna be too hard on her but if she acts like nothing happened then I'm just going to stay cordial and act bored if she talks to me instead of friendly. As for the job thing I would have waited for a very crucial moment in the company some big important client or whatever and then just walked out(quit on the spot) leaving them flat. Don't worry about restoring my faith in womankind as I don't need anyone unnecessarily blowing smoke up my *ss :)

chuck

Sunday, March 17th, 2013

Grant, Is this the same girl you were feeling nervous and insecure around, because of your past experience?

Grant

Sunday, March 17th, 2013

Hi Chuck, no it's not their two different woman. The past experience one is a blonde and this one is a brunette.

Alex

Sunday, March 17th, 2013

I'm actually with Grant on this one. Yes, disrespect happens in the dating game, but that doesn't change the fact that not calling back is a lack of common courtesy. Maybe you jumped the gun and maybe you didn't, Grant. Some women would have responded to how you handled it and some wouldn't have. You don't know until you try. At this point, I'd just play it cool with her. You've done your part, the ball's in her court.

Grant

Monday, March 18th, 2013

Thank you for the comments Alex!!! I'm going to play it cool just like you said as that was my thinking.

Mar

Sunday, March 17th, 2013

Hi Grant Why did you call her when you knew she was working? Is it that you wanted to see her that same night ("I asked if she wanted to get together AFTER WORK or to play miniature golf on Sunday")? I don't think you should have asked her out via voice message Grant. And, I think you two should have converse at least once on the phone before asking her out. As you said, you went on impulse in calling her. David's advice is not an excuse if us to lack self discipline (self discipline is sexy to women btw) and be impulsive. Most women like to take things slow. You got the number, called knowing she was at work, and asked to see her after work or Sunday via voice message. Slow down Grant. All us men are used to some women not calling us back. We can label it disrespect or lack of common courtesy, but it happens and always will happen in the dating game.

Grant

Sunday, March 17th, 2013

Hi Mar, thank you for your reply. Okay I think you may have some valid points but how am I suppose to know what all the unwritten rules are if I don't know what all the unwritten rules are(where do I buy that book and which particular rules from this book does this women follow and which one's doesn't she follow). I just went on gut instinct and I will never NOT trust my gut. As for the not calling back, what kind of mindset does a woman have to NOT return the very first message I ever left her? I was hoping to get a hold of her in person but I felt the odds were slim but I went for it anyways.

Mar

Sunday, March 17th, 2013

You got her number. You are actively engaging the ladies and that's always a plus Grant. And, she may still call. You left the voice message on Friday, correct?

Grant

Sunday, March 17th, 2013

Heard loud and clear Mar. I guess I really need to chill a bit but I'm not sure what to do when a woman exhibits signs of things that are deal breakers for me. How do I let her do what she needs to do and yet let me do what I need to do? I could just let this slide but should I? If I just let it slide am I giving away my power because it certainly feels like it?

Ben Hunt

Sunday, March 17th, 2013

Grant, a woman may also not return your first call because she is playing hard to get and wants to know how interested you are in her, and whether you want to put the effort in to pursue her further. Although, as a guy, I know it can be frustrating when a woman gives you her number and wants you to call her, and then you can never get hold of her. David put out a podcast about it fairly recently, but sometimes as a guy you have to be patient and not expect instant gratification.

Grant

Sunday, March 17th, 2013

Hi Ben, thanks for the reply. I guess what I'm having trouble with is deal breakers. David said to list your deal breakers and to not sell yourself out. So what does one do when a woman's behavior is deal breaker material. How do I navigate that? How do I let her do what she needs to do and yet at the same time voice my displeasure without coming off like a d*ick?

Sarah

Sunday, March 17th, 2013

I agree with Mar that you shouldn't have asked her out via voicemail especially at a time when you knew she would be working. If you reach a woman's voice mail, just say, "It's Grant from the other night. Sorry I missed you, give her your # etc." Definitely try to reach her when she's likely able to answer the phone. She may have had to sleep in the following day. By the time she got your voicemail, there was not a good time for mini-golf. Lack of politeness, oversleeping, bad phone service, who knows? Don't overthink it. When you meet her again, just ask her if she had received her voicemail and don't make a big deal if it's obvious she blew you off. Keep it light. Would you want to date someone like that anyway?

Grant

Monday, March 18th, 2013

Hi Sarah, thank you for your comments! I know that you and Mar say I shouldn't have made the call when I most likely knew it would go to voicemail and I think that's good conventional wisdom and a good rule of thumb to follow however David says you get to make your own rules and that we should get in the habit of making our own rules. Now maybe I'm still a little too green at this and maybe I should have stuck to the rules(I have no idea what all of the rules are nor which one's this woman in particular follows) but I just had to go with my gut on this one and to hell with the consequences good or bad as I have to start the practice of making my own rules eventually at some point so why not now! :) That being said I do realize that she may not have actually received the message or any number of reasons including blowing me off but I just want to be ready for anything the next time I see her and I don't mean ready for a confrontation but just coming to the situation well prepared for the many scenarios that could unfold and play it by ear. Now your probably thinking OMG!!! he's waaay over thinking this and that may be true but what I'm actually trying to do is come to the situation well prepared. This may all turn out quite fine with little effort on my part but I also want to get some practice in in case a situation like this comes up in the future and then I don't have to approach it cold.

Muhammad k .

Sunday, March 17th, 2013

@Grant Listen . My advice : Call her again at the time you are knowing she is not working and give her a chance for 72 hours . For me i called a girl and she didn't answer and i went into the paralysis of analysis . I callex her again she answered and said i was having a very big problem so i didn't want u to hear my voice when i was sad because i wanted you to be happy . For be a friend didn't pay the mobile pills so all the calls weren't recieved by him the bottom line : Call again Wait 72 hours if returned calls great . If not no worries go and meet new people and you are not the only one in this situation now becauae i am busy i don't answer all the calls good luck

Grant

Monday, March 18th, 2013

Hi Muhammad, thank you for commenting! I know that I'm very likely going to see her again this coming Wed and I'm going to handle this face to face. No I'm not going to go in with guns blazing but rather I'm going to go into this well prepared for any of the many scenarios that might unfold.(**see the reply I made to Sarah for further explanation**) Good luck with whatever your facing with women right now and I hope you come through whatever it is with flying colors!!! :)

Hans

Sunday, March 17th, 2013

Grant, I would say things are a lot less complicated than they appear. They always are. She doesn't return your call. Imagine you were Brad Pitt, you think she would not return your call ? You mentioned she started working at a bar, which makes me wonder how old she is. My guess is 30 max, forgive me if I am wrong. You are 50...how often do you think she gets hit on by guys ? I wouldn't waste too much time or thought on this woman...there are plenty more out there for you. Just think: next.

Grant

Sunday, March 17th, 2013

Hi Hans it's a little more complicated than that as I've known her since August of 2012. We actually attend the same meetings on a weekly basis on Wed and this job of hers is a brand new part time job. I like this woman and even though I'm 50 it doesn't mean it has to go anywhere. Even at worst case scenario I get a bit of practice in so I can hone my skills for someone who is more age appropriate.

Grant

Sunday, March 17th, 2013

Hi Bob, it's not the one phone call as this one phone call is meaningless in the grand scheme of things. But what if this one phone call signifies the 500th time that I gave my power to a woman by just letting it slide. How many times should I let it slide before I grow a set of balls and actually say something?

Bob

Sunday, March 17th, 2013

What's the big deal with this one phone call? If I got that upset every time a woman didn't call me back, I would have stomach ulcers and a heart attact once a month. When you see her again, just casually walk up to her and ask her if she got your message. If she says yea, I did, but doesn't seem interested in anything more, then you will know she was just giving you her number to be nice, never expecting you to call her or her to go out with you. Just say okay, cool, and walk away with your balls intact. Chill man...

Ben Hunt

Monday, March 18th, 2013

Grant, in some respects I would have to agree with Bob. By worrying about it, you're actually giving your power away. Ask her when you next see her if she got your message. She may just be busy, and hasn't had the chance to get back to you, or was planning to chat when she next saw you. If she doesn't appear interested, move on and know that just because one woman isn't interested, they're plenty of women who would be!

Grant

Monday, March 18th, 2013

Hi Ben thank you for commenting! I wouldn't say I'm necessarily worried about it but rather I want to be prepared for any and all scenarios as I plan to handle this face to face as I'll likely see her in two days(Wed Mar 20/13). By actually running all of the possible scenarios I can think of through my mind I'll come to the interaction with her well prepared. Now this may all blow over very easily and with very little effort on my part but it'll also make it that much easier to handle something like this with this woman or someone else in the future! Good luck with whatever challenge your facing with women right now! :)

Mar

Monday, March 18th, 2013

Hey Grant, You'll probably see her Wednesday, correct? If I were you, I would say 'hi' and give her a hug similar to the one you gave her on Friday. She'll probably mention something about the message then. If not, like Bob said, I'd CAUSALLY ask her if she received my message. IMPORTANT- No need to project anger or negative feelings when you see her Grant. Keep it cool, keep it classy. Besides, she might say, "Sorry I didn't call you back, I already had plans for Sunday. How about this weekend?" Ya never know. It's her loss if she's not interested, right? Keep it cool, keep it classy.

Grant

Monday, March 18th, 2013

Hi Mar, thank you for commenting! My plan is to see her face to face on Wed. I'll say 'Hi' but I won't hug her and I plan to play it a bit coolly but not too coolly(I don't want to act like a d*ck because I actually like this girl but I also don't want to act like there's absolutely nothing wrong). As far as I'm concerned the ball is in her court and I'm just going to see where this goes as she may already be feeling badly for not returning my call and doesn't know how to resolve this either. I'm usually a pretty mellow and easy going guy but there are some things out there in this world that just make my blood boil and not returning a phone call is one of them. What can I say! :)

Hans

Monday, March 18th, 2013

A woman doesn't return your phone call. Rule number one: show no reaction whatsoever. Rule number two: as soon as she shows up, start flirting with other women like crazy, and make sure she sees it. Trust me guys, that is the only way to get anything positive out of a situation like this one.

Grant

Monday, March 18th, 2013

Thank you Hans as I really like this idea!!! If she comes out to Boston Pizza after the meeting on Wed I can give her a lot less attention than I usually do. I'm not going to be a d*ck about it and I'm not going to rub her face in it but I think I might be able to demonstrate to her that hey if you want some face and talk time with me then don't abuse the privileged. Great idea!!! Thank you for the suggestion!!!

Grant

Monday, March 18th, 2013

Oops accidentally unsubscribed from this blog post and can't get follow ups without leaving a reply

Mark

Tuesday, March 19th, 2013

Grant, if it's truly a deal breaker and she didn't answer your call, then you move on, right? Even if she apologises and wants to go out another time. That's holding onto your power. However if you're hoping she does want to go on a date with you, then it's not really a deal breaker and your ego just took a bit of a battering.

Grant

Tuesday, March 19th, 2013

Hi Mark, thank you for commenting, yes it is a deal breaker but this is a behavior that she can easily change with me if she chooses to do so. I think I'd be a pretty big d*ck if I didn't give her a second chance especially since at this point she doesn't know that it bothers me. It's only when a woman knows something is a deal breaker for you and then continues to do it anyways that you have to walk away. This isn't like she threw a knife at me during an argument, she was just a little too self absorbed to call me back and there's still the chance of a mechanical/electronic error and that she never received my message in the first place so logically I can't walk away without at least talking to her about it once otherwise I'm just an angry self absorbed little boy who runs away and not a man!

Mar

Tuesday, March 19th, 2013

Grant, (Below is just a different perspective on this matter) IF she was just being friendly by giving you her number (no romantic interest), she could have been freaked out or even offended that you left a voice message wanting to see her that SAME night. What time was this get-together likely to occur? Sounds like a "booty call" Grant. She could have been creeped out, (especially if she has no romantic interest in you).

Grant

Tuesday, March 19th, 2013

Hi Mar, the freaked out part may have some merit. I expected that she would be getting off at about 2am so I suggested that we go and have coffee at Denny's because it's the only place I know of off hand that's open 24 hours. I haven't been sleeping well lately because I've been working some odd hours and I know it takes me about 3 to wind down after work and eat and shower etc before I go to sleep so I thought hey if your up for it would you like to get a coffee. I do have an interest in her and know her a bit but essentially I don't know her from a hole in the ground so I ain't gonna booty call anyone that I don't know very well because that's just asking for a lot of trouble!!!

Melissa

Tuesday, March 19th, 2013

I don't think it's a big deal that you asked her out via voice message. I have more of a problem with what you offered. If this girl is in her 30's or younger, she might think it's stupid to go play mini golf. Hanging out after work could be gross too. I know when I was 19 and working in a bar I didn't want to do anything but shower when I got off at 3am. But I could have the story all wrong. I don't know. I think it's great that you asked though...don't stop asking! Just maybe say something like... "I know you've been working hard, let me take you out for a relaxing meal". Something that already sounds soothing and maybe romantic because you are taking care of her.

Grant

Tuesday, March 19th, 2013

Hi Melissa, thank you for chiming in on this one as it's always great to get a woman's perspective. I don't have a problem with what I offered as some women may say yes to this offer and some women may say no. What bothers me is that she didn't say anything and left me hanging so I don't know what to think but in my book it's kind of rude and I hope I ain't dealing with some kind of closet diva or princess. She doesn't seem like the type but this could be a diva in sheep's clothing.

Mar

Tuesday, March 19th, 2013

Grant, I'm sure you weren't making a booty call but she could have interpreted it as such. I don't know a dude who attempts to hook up with a female after midnight just to "talk". She probably doesn't know one either.

Grant

Tuesday, March 19th, 2013

Hi Mar, yes I can kind of see your point of her thinking this could be a booty call but you also need to remember that I gave her the other option of mini-golf on Sun. Now maybe since I'm 50 and not quite up with the times maybe mini-golf means some kind of sexual thing these days with this younger generation but to me it's always meant a putter, a ball, a windmill and a clown's nose :):):)

Melissa

Tuesday, March 19th, 2013

She's rude for not calling you back, sure, but it's also sort of inconsiderate on your end to throw out an offer that just seems good to you. Maybe find out what she would really like to do and ask her to do that...maybe she would be more inclined to say yes. She isn't a closet diva or princess if she doesn't like mini golf.

Technoboy

Wednesday, March 20th, 2013

Ha, I was going to make a separate remark about this but it happens to be exactly what Melissa is telling you. So I used to just throw out random date ideas that I think are fun. Many of them, too. I still need to check myself sometimes not to do that. Here's what I go for now though, right from the Wygant playbook: When you talk to her, the point of the conversation is to find out as many personal details about HER as possible, NOT to impress her with your humor / wit / charm / profession / etc. You win if the entire time you asked detailed questions and she's revealed everything about herself but knows little about you. THEN, when you have enough info about her, all of a sudden an idea for what you want to do with her pops up automatically. It's crucial that you tie your date idea into something she said or did though. That's when you can go in for the date. Example: If I want to sweep MichiGirl off her feet, I could take her to my childhood rope swing because we both ropeswung when we were kids. In the meantime though she revealed her favorite hiking trail, a bar + pool hall that we both hang out at, and confessed that she would be willing to learn how to handle a fire staff (she happened to be mentioning some fire performers she saw, and I happen to dabble around in the arts, so I grilled her on the details. I did not just randomly say 'hey want to learn how to handle fire' out of nowhere. Big difference!)

Grant

Friday, March 22nd, 2013

Hi Technoboy, I'm getting tired of typing so please read my post to Bob dated March 22nd, 2013 at 2:36pm.

Technoboy

Thursday, March 21st, 2013

I believe you are talking about MoCap boxing :) I can get to the 4th guy without continuing. It's the only game other than Dance Dance revolution that can get my heart racing and my chest wheezing :) There can be any number of reasons she did not go to the weekly meeting other than her avoiding you. Innocent until proven guilty, I always say. She IS guilty as charged about giving you a number and not returning your call though, and there is no good excuse for that. I used to keep making excuses for other people but I kicked that habit for good last year. Next time though, I think more advance notice and having ONE idea for a date that TIES INTO something she said or did could do wonders. And generally leaving a 'strong Neil' instead of 'weak Neil' message (you DID say you purchased the Art of Close, right?). Easier said than done - I accidentally left a voice message that was closer to Weak Neil than to Strong Neil just a week ago or so. And I know better!

Grant

Wednesday, March 20th, 2013

Hi Technoboy, actually the coffee after work was the random idea that popped into my head. The mini-golf was something I was going to do anyways and I ended up going to do the mini-golf with someone(Alex - a man) that attends these weekly meetings too. In other words all three of us attend these weekly meetings on Wednesdays. It actually worked out well as this guy Alex has a girlfriend who's sick in the hospital as she's undergoing some kind of treatment so they let her go out for the day to raise her spirits but she has to be back my 9pm as I guess she might get too weak or whatever. I actually had a fun time at the mini-golf place as I didn't actually end up playing mini-golf. I actually ended up playing one of these boxing arcade games that's kind of like the Nintendo Wii. I think it's good she didn't come after all as that boxing thing tired me out and I was sweating like a pig. Last thing you want is for a woman to be looking at you thinking hey he's out shape and I ain't going anywhere near no sweating hog :):):) I actually had fun cheering up Alex's girlfriend because if I'm in the right mood I can be 95% smart-ass(fun) and she seemed to enjoy that. As for this woman let's call her Barbara. I know very little about her at all so I was basically throwing out an idea and hoping it would stick but I was perfectly willing to change if need be. Well I'm going to show up at the meeting at 5:30pm which is about 80 minutes from now and all I've gotta say is hey let the games begin!!! :):):)

Grant

Tuesday, March 19th, 2013

Well it's the first time I've ever called her so I thought it best to have some kind of offer as David says to come with a plan and so that was my plan. Now that plan ain't written in stone but unless I get a callback with some kind of counter offer how else am I suppose to proceed? I don't think she's a diva or a princess because she doesn't like mini-golf as for all I know she may hate mini-golf but unless I get a callback saying so then how would I ever know? I'm saying she might be a diva or a princess because she didn't return the first call I ever made to her. For me the thought is how does someone not return the first call that someone makes to them unless there was some kind of mechanical or electronic malfunction and she never received it in the first place or she's a bit of a diva or a princess and thinks that's perfectly acceptable behavior that has no consequences.

Melissa

Wednesday, March 20th, 2013

Ah. I get it. Maybe she's just not that into you. Happens all the time. Next!

Grant

Wednesday, March 20th, 2013

Yes that's what I'm thinking but something else I haven't mentioned because it wasn't necessarily relevant is that we both attend the same meetings every Wed so I'm likely to see her later today unless she skips out and I've also seen her around town a few times as we live in a rather small city so the likelihood of me running into her again is very high. I'm just not sure what to say if I run into her or if I should say anything at all. Do you have any suggestions on what I might say or do as I don't want to let this slide like it never happened but I also don't want to be an a**hole!? Thank You!!!

Sophia

Wednesday, March 20th, 2013

I dont know Dave. This all sounds all confusing! I wouldnt give my number to someone just to be nice! Or maybe she just wants to have more ppl adding in her mobile agenda, I dont know! It all leads to ''maybe´s''. What I say is just forget about all the thing and try to waste that energy into something more usefull. Hangout with your friends, etc...etc... You dont know her and you dont know what is going on, If she didnt returned your call is bcos is not meant to be. If a guy ask me our via voice mail I personally woudnt take that call or text seriously. Sorry and its 100% guaranteed. If you dont want to be left with the thorn, well, call her again and dont ask for permission, just be confident and act confedent too. Dont ask permission bcos she is going to say ''aaaahhhh maybe friday?''. I as a women I find that too slack! so dull and lame! Confident my friend is all you need. ; )

Grant

Friday, March 22nd, 2013

Hi Sophia, I'm getting tired of typing so please read my post to Bob dated March 22nd, 2013 at 2:36pm.

Technoboy

Wednesday, March 20th, 2013

But you're NOT being an asshole if you tell someone that you expect them to return your call. If you get personal about it and start calling her names and stuff, then you're an asshole, but you strike me as too mature and logical to do that. That's the key to confrontation I've found - just stick with the facts and don't get personal. I like Bob's angle though. He has so many prospects that he would go sick if he worried about every single incident. It's a Catch22 though. It's impossible not to care if you don't have a few other prospects. Me, I found it useful to honestly reject people so I could drop my baggage and move on. In the past this involved chewing people out or bugging them until they got more honest. I don't do that anymore but I don't have any regrets about taking a stand in the past. I did that for acquaintances and internet strangers though, not people I would see regularly.

Grant

Thursday, March 21st, 2013

Well Technoboy it's 11pm and I still haven't heard back from that woman after leaving my second and final phone message. I still may hear from her as David says it may take some time for some women to process things but if that isn't the case then I know that I'm dealing with an immature woman who is too afraid to call me. If that's the case then I feel sorry for her and no longer have any romantic interest in her. I believe that she is 27 and my cut off is 35 years old as I'm 50. Now I'll consider someone who is under 35 but then they have to be very mature and it seems this woman isn't very mature at all and I don't want to be dealing with a 27 year old child but rather a very mature 27 year old woman. She just doesn't make the cut so she's off my romantic interest list.

Melissa

Thursday, March 21st, 2013

So? Did she show at the meeting? I must know....

Grant

Thursday, March 21st, 2013

Hi Melissa see an update of what happened with this woman etc in my reply to Technoboy dated March 21st with a time stamp of 8:43pm

Grant

Thursday, March 21st, 2013

No she chickened out so I guess I'm just gonna let this one go as I'm through having my hissy fit about this and it's time to move on to bigger and better things :) Well NOT bigger women as I seem to like petite women which is probably a throwback to watching Marianne from Gilligan's Island and Mary Tyler Moore from The Dick Van Dyke show. Why in the hell do I like these kind of women I really don't know but I wish the media would stop bashing men like me for liking women like that sayin somehow it ain't right when 95% of the media is full of sh*t anyways :) Just Sayin! :) Grant

Melissa

Thursday, March 21st, 2013

Grant- the world would be a better place if men could get on board with the fat chicks and women liked the fat dudes, but we like what we like. I can't date a fat dude. I hate fatness. Wish I liked it...would really increase my dating pool.

Grant

Thursday, March 21st, 2013

If you start to lower your standards then where does one stop. It then becomes a race to the bottom or a race to the lowest common denominator instead of high standards and a race to the highest common denominator. This seems to be the gold standard now as with almost every country including yours(I'm guessing your American) and mine(I'm Canadian) it's a race to the bottom and the lowest common denominator.

John

Thursday, March 21st, 2013

I know many guys who chased the fatties exclusively. (When they were single. Most married a fat chick.)

Grant

Thursday, March 21st, 2013

So which one do you think you look more like: Marianne, Laura Petrie or Gilligan? :)

Melissa

Thursday, March 21st, 2013

Who is Laura Petrie? I've actually been told I look like Marianne...probably because I have dark hair and like to wear jean shorts and cowboy boots in the summer. Don't really think I look like her.

Grant

Thursday, March 21st, 2013

Laura Petrie is the character that Mary Tyler Moore played on the Dick Van Dyke Show...here's a youtube link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ANvMAyXuQpI Well you may not look like Marianne but from your description you definitely have me intrigued! :):):)

Technoboy

Thursday, March 21st, 2013

Ooh, Grant, I have a fantasy scenario for you: Keep working on your conversation / flirting / attraction / dating skills until you have lots of options. Be sure to take the women you date/prospect to that bar Barbara works at and flaunt your newfound skills and turn her into your confidante. See if you can get HER to pursue YOU, then say "sorry, Barbara, I only date women who return phone calls". Mwahaha. Hey, a guy can exercise his colorful imagination, can't he?

Grant

Thursday, March 21st, 2013

Hi Technoboy, if your Tech No Boy does that mean your actually a Tech Man :) I already have two dates set up: A friend from work set me up on a blind date so were going to meet at a coffee shop this Sat and see what happens. The other one is kind of interesting as I was at this arcade game style place and won myself a kids deputy sheriff badge so I've been using this badge and a deep Southern accent and I'm having a lot of fun with it(I actually live in Canada and have never even been to the Southern United States). So I walk into my local bank and talk to a teller(in my Southern accent) that I've talked to many times before. She likes what she hears and starts asking me questions that I can't answer so I say well it would take me an hour to explain it all to you so why don't you just give me your number and you know what she gave it to me. I called her today and were going out to a comedy club next Friday. I also called that woman that didn't return my call and basically said I didn't receive a reply to her last call and maybe she didn't receive it and that I'm making this call to give it one more try. I've received no reply yet and I'm ready to write her off as I have two live and age appropriate prospects in the bullpen :):):)

Melissa

Friday, March 22nd, 2013

Grant- It's insulting that you are calling this woman immature. She's 27!!! DUH. She doesn't want to go out with a guy who is almost double her age. She hears your message and says 'Ugh'. I promise you. I do not understand why men do this. Sure, people younger than us look hot. I get messages from young dudes constantly. Telling me that 'age is just a number'. It's not, just like weight isn't just a number or height isn't just a number. Why is AGE supposed to not matter but every other number does?? Age matters. Every stage of life is different and your self awareness, needs, wants and desires change over the course of your life span. It's not about you 'feeling' young, it's about what you have learned and experienced over time. A 50 year old and a 27 year old are on different playing fields more often than not.

Grant

Friday, March 22nd, 2013

So are you calling the men that are half your age that asked you out immature? If you are then doesn't this woman fit the same category because your sole definition of immature is all and I mean all men who are half Melissa's age immature and there are absolutely no exceptions. So Melissa where's the cut off in age for the men who ask you out on a date. Let's say your 40 and I don't know if you are or you aren't as I'm just pulling a number out of the air so don't go off on me if your younger. So let's now say that your lower limit for dating men is 35. Okay what if a man is 34 and 11 months is he off limits and if he isn't then is 34 and 10 months off limit or is it 34 and 9 months...so where is your absolute limit that you will never go beyond?

Techno Man

Friday, March 22nd, 2013

Grant + Melissa: Wow, she's young enough to be your daughter. I missed that little detail. BUT still: She gave Grant her number! Even though she apparently has no interest. She is guilty of a lot of things, including immaturity. When he asked her number she could have said: I don't know you well enough, Grant I don't go out with customers I don't give out my number to people I just met / meet at bars Actually I DONT have a number you can reach me at Sorry, I don't I'm not looking to date right now No ... Inexcusable behavior is just that - inexcusable. Age is not an excuse for dishonesty. Lucky you Grant - you're old enough to appropriately hit on mature women like Melissa + Kickstep + Buttlescars. Then again I bet you can't do 50 push ups or beat the hardest song on Dance Dance Revolution or turn your head into a calculator. Pbbbbt :p P.S Congrats on that kiddie sheriff spiel. Sounds like you are really taking the fast track, Grant. And like you are having a lot of fun. Me, I took the slow track, BUT I am having a lot of fun too and like you no longer have time to dwell on flakes or immature people because there are just too many others.

Grant

Friday, March 22nd, 2013

Hi Techno Man, I'm getting tired of typing so please read my post to Bob dated March 22nd, 2013 at 2:36pm.

Melissa

Friday, March 22nd, 2013

No. I am not saying SHE is immature. It's more like your expectations of her are immature, or at the very least, inexperienced. You should know from the get go that pursuing a 27 year old (when you yourself are 50) is not a good idea. You shouldn't be the least bit surprised when she doesn't call you back. I am 39. I routinely get asked out by 24-28 year olds....I look pretty young, most often they assume that I am 28-29. I tell them no. I am seeing a guy right now who is 10 years older. He's the oldest I've gone. Jury's still out about how I feel about it. Typically, I am looking between 38-45. Usually these guys have had similar life experiences, have had kids and don't want more and are established in their careers.

Grant

Friday, March 22nd, 2013

So what if a man is 37 years and 364 days old is he then completely dismissed from your consideration?

Melissa

Friday, March 22nd, 2013

Grant, don't be so silly! Of course there is wiggle room at either end of the age range.

Grant

Friday, March 22nd, 2013

That's my point!!! Is the wiggle room one day or two days? What is your absolute cut off to the day or what should my cut off be to the exact day?

Ben Hunt

Friday, March 22nd, 2013

Grant, you don't need to have a cut off point to a day! That is ridiculous! What happens if you met a really nice woman and she was one hour out on this so called scale. You wouldn't go: "Oh sorry, I would love to get to know you better, but you're one hour out on this inflexible dating scale I just made up, so I'm afraid we're going to have to go our separate ways." It's stupid! Have an age range in mind, yes, but be flexible enough that if the right person came along and they were slightly older or slightly younger, you wouldn't stop seeing them because they violated your age scale.

Grant

Friday, March 22nd, 2013

Well of course not Ben I was just trying to prove a point with Melissa but in reality what if I meet a really fantastic woman and she's only 27 and I'm 50. Doesn't mean I have to marry or even sleep with her. Maybe she's just in my life for a short time to remind me to think young or whatever. Who knows???

Ben Hunt

Friday, March 22nd, 2013

Yeah, that's true! As Melissa has already pointed out though, you have to remember that this woman is 27. And, she may be looking for someone who is closer to her own age range. But, that doesn't mean you can't learn something from this woman, and she can't learn something from you.

Grant

Friday, March 22nd, 2013

Ben you took the words right out of my mouth!!! I was trying to explain myself to Melissa but she was just stuck on the fact that I was 50 and she's only 27! "I don't mean anything personal on this Melissa I just didn't quite know how to explain this to you as I'm guessing you probably thought this was just all about sex or that I was having some kind of mid-life crisis or something".

Melissa

Friday, March 22nd, 2013

Here's the thing: You may want a short term thing, learning something new from her, sex or no sex, just friends, something pretty to look at, whatever. YOU might want that. SHE on the other hand, is probably looking to settle down and start a family. Not this particular woman maybe, I can't debate about that, but MOST woman in that age bracket are looking to find 'the one'. She doesn't want to waste any of her free time exploring new ideas or going mini golfing or to the movies with a guy who is NOT going to be her husband! Time is limited for most people. Age is a very good indicator of 'life stage'. For example, most people wouldn't date a 50 year old woman thinking she wanted to start a family. Most people wouldn't date a 20 year old guy thinking that he was ready to retire. Age is often a good indicator of 'desired relationship' status.

Grant

Friday, March 22nd, 2013

Hi Melissa, I'm getting tired of typing so please read my post to Bob dated March 22nd, 2013 at 2:36pm.

Bob

Friday, March 22nd, 2013

Grant, I have been reading your incessant posts over this young girl. It is obvious to me that you do not possess the skills, or experience with dating multiple age groups, to date a MUCH younger woman than yourself. It takes extreme knowledge and skill to date women half your age. Your look is all wrong, the way you go about asking her out is all wrong, your confidence is way off, your entire technique and mindset is incorrect. I have successfully dated these much younger women, and know how and what they are looking for, and how you must get them to pursue you, instead of you trying to pursue them. Even with the knowledge required to succeed with them, it is obvious you do not have the personality or patience to pursue them, due to the small percentage of younger girls that will consider to date even the most experienced and skilled, older man. I would forget about her, and concentrate on women within your capabilities and skillset.

Grant

Friday, March 22nd, 2013

Hi Bob, now why would you say incessant posts. I just asked a question about a woman not returning a phone call and I can't figure out why everyone and his dog is chiming in of this. In the grand scheme of things my situation is probably as interesting as watching paint dry. Now why on earth are people so interested in commenting on paint drying??? I'm a hunt and peck typist so the last thing I want to do is to do a lot of typing because it takes me a long time to type even a simple paragraph. I never said I possessed any skills in fact I haven't even dated in more than a year and even then I wasn't doing very well either. I basically said I fancied this 27 year old woman I never said I had any kind of chance at her. As for asking her out I had already known her for 7 months but I had no illusions that anything was ever going to happen. I was just expressing that it sure would be nice if something did. When her and I were talking I was talking about going to a comedy club and taking my mother to her first ever visit to a comedy club. She then said her mother might be in town at that time and maybe we could all go together and then I said why don't you give me your number and she did and she said call me anytime. So then she went back to work and I headed over to the casino. I didn't find the casino very interesting so I went home. I was kind of bored and I hadn't been sleeping well lately so I knew I'd be staying up late so I thought hey why don't I ask her if she wants to go for coffee after work as she said I could call her anytime. So I called and I got her answering machine and asked her if she wanted to go for coffee and then as an after thought I asked her about the mini-golf because you see she's not a stranger to me and I had already talked to her the day before and we had a nice conversation. I never said I had a chance with this woman I only said I fancied her much like an old man would like to be able to play pro football but he knows in aint gonna happen. So hopefully this email ends all of this as I'm getting tried of writing but people keep commenting and I want to be polite because I'm new here and want to make friends but OMG!!! this typing is a lot of work for me!!!

Mar

Friday, March 22nd, 2013

Grant, David recently asked me to put my ego aside and take in what he was saying. I would suggest you do the same with Bob's post.

Grant

Friday, March 22nd, 2013

Hi Mar, I'm getting tired of typing so please read my post to Bob dated March 22nd, 2013 at 2:36pm.

Technoboy

Friday, March 22nd, 2013

Pro Tip, Grant: When you post a note anywhere on a blog, even if it's in reply to another post, all the people who subscribed to that entry will get it. So basically there is no one on one messaging. Another pro tip: you don't have to respond to every comment. Especially if you want to spare yourself from getting Carpel Tunnel Syndrome :). The reason you got so many messages is you posted a lot of messages and specifically asked for input. Don't worry, my feelings won't be hurt if no one responds to this one.

Grant

Friday, March 22nd, 2013

Hi Technoboy, thanks for the info. I also wanted to know what you would suggest one do when posters: take what you've said out of context, mis- characterizes what you said, make things up that don't exist or just never carefully read what you said in the first place? Don't get me wrong I did like some of the attention and I did like teasing Melissa because she stepped into a logic argument over how young is too young to the exact day that she knew she was never going to win :) but after awhile it all got rather tedious.

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