mug shot mel gibson david wygantHow many times have you hesitated walking around women because you didn’t want to be that douchebag guy?

How many times have you been to a party and you started talking to a bunch of women and you just didn’t want to be the douchebag guy?

How many times you were just cruising the isles of a supermarket and you wanted to talk to a woman but you didn’t want to come across as that douchebag guy?

Face it: you are the douchebag guy.

That douchebag guy fear that’s inside your head is just an excuse for you not talking to the women.

It’s a way for you to rationalize not talking to her.

You see, you’ll never find yourself on the front page of a newspaper.

The New York Times is not running a story on you that says:

DOUCHEBAG GUY SEEN AT WHOLE FOODS HITTING ON FOUR WOMEN

Here’s the deal: when you rationalize things, it’s based on an inner fear that you don’t want to get rejected. It all comes down to not wanting to be rejected.

It’s amazing how rejection can manifest itself.

Rejection has a way of manifesting itself into a nice neat little story.

You can make all the different excuses you want.

You don’t want to go hit on her because she’s at a yoga class and you want to protect her yogi-vibe.

You’re at church and you don’t want to talk to you because you don’t want Jesus beating you down that day.

You’re at your grandmother’s funeral and this girl walks in and she’s really really hot and you don’t want to disgrace your grandmother’s soul by hitting on her.

You don’t want to be the douchebag but the fact of the matter is you never will be the douchebag.

If you walk over to a woman and it’s authentic and real, and you’re interested in her for who she is as a person, and you observe something that she’s doing and you make a comment on it, and you listen very carefully to what she has to say, and you talk to her by listening to her and taking the conversation further, then all you’re trying to do is connect—you’re not a douchebag, you’re just a cool guy that’s trying to capitalize on a situation.

The douchebag guy is walking around hitting on everybody with cheesy pick up lines.

You’re not like that.

You think you might be and you worry about it because of fear—a fear that is protecting your ego.

Your ego is trying to preserve itself. You don’t want to put yourself out there, so you create this fear protection story so ego feels a lot better. You can now go home and say to yourself, “At least I wasn’t that douchebag guy.”

But you’re not. You’re actually a fucking really good guy; you’re a guy that really wants to connect with women; you’re a guy that probably wants a girlfriend; you’re a guy that’s really good to your friends.

You really just want to overcome your entire fear of approach and closing and everything else. But until you stop rationalizing, you will never overcome that fear.

So the next time you see a women standing in the market, be the “douchebag”—walk over there and talk to her.

Unleash that inner douchebag and you’ll realize that you were never really one to begin with.