Be Present Where You Are
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I recently saw a really funny movie called “It’s Complicated.” In a nutshell, it’s not that complicated. It’s about as complicated as people want to make their own lives.
In the movie, Alec Baldwin plays a 58 year old man who has an affair with his 58 year old ex-wife at the same time he is married to a 30 year old woman. She wants to get pregnant.
So the Alec Baldwin character spends his days at fertility clinics masturbating into cups, instead of enjoying the stage of life he is in with his grown children and still sexy 58 year old ex wife. He could be enjoying the experience of appreciating his age and growing old with his wife.
So many of us are constantly looking to maybe upgrade. The 55 or 60 year old fat, chubby man all of a sudden decides that he wants a younger, beautiful wife. The younger, beautiful wife really just wants him for money, sperm and/or more money.
It’s really about learning to be present where you are.
I seem to get a lot of guys who email me and say, “I’m 50 years old and I’m only attracted to 20 year old women.” Well, I was attracted to 20 year old women in my life too . . . when I as 20 or 23 or maybe 25. Then I realized, “God, 20 year old girls are so annoying!”
As I kept getting older, I kept dating in my age range. The fact is that I couldn’t image at 47 years old dating a 20 year woman.
Just the thought of it makes me sick. Having to watch how they interact with their friends and listen to how they speak (with all the “likes” and the “oh my gawddds”) would really be too much for me to handle.
I’m not knocking anybody who’s 20. I think 20 fits great with 20. I think you should talk like 20 year olds talk. I know I probably said some pretty stupid things too when I was that age.
It’s just learning to embrace that where you are in your life is where you should be. So if you continue to want to date younger and younger people, it’s time to ask yourself why.
When I was in my twenties, I dated plenty of women in their twenties. When I was in my thirties, I dated plenty of women in their thirties.
I was never looking younger. I was just looking for somebody great. I never put an age on it.
I know a lot of guys whose taste in women age-wise changes in direct proportion to their own age — for every year older they get, the desired age of the women they date goes down by a year. I have a friend who is like that. He is always chasing the youth.
My friend is 48 years old now, and he’s been chasing the youth for five years. He still isn’t in a relationship. He decides he wants to date younger and younger women each year, thinking that is the answer.
That is not the answer. The answer is to date within your age range. Appreciate where you’re at right now in your life.
For those of you who are in your twenties right now, go crazy with each other. Say all the “likes” and “oh my gawwdddds” you want. Get drunk, throw up and have one night stands. Do all the fun stuff you’re supposed to do in your twenties.
Get it over with and do all of those things. Date people who may not fit or who flake all the time. It’s all cool.
As you get older, though, appreciate who you are and where you’re at in your life. Not only that, but I know that if I was Alec Baldwin’s character in that movie — trying to chase a 30 year old around all day long — I would find it exhausting.
I would want to be on a cruise ship, hanging out with other 58 year old guys. Okay, well maybe not a cruise ship, but you get the idea. We’ll talk about that topic another time.
Nervous around beautiful women? Download my 10 best “no-fail” openers that WILL have her handing you her phone number tonight.
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