Do You Use Dating Speculators?
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As I was walking Daphne on the beach the other day, I overheard a conversation that two guys who were walking near me were having. In that conversation, they were playing what I like to call “the speculation game.”
As humans, we always speculate. We always feel the need to know the outcome of things. We always want to think about “what if…”
We speculate on the stock market. We speculate all the time when it comes down to picking a stock.
We speculate on football games. How many times do you watch a football game and say to yourself, “Man, if he only man if he only threw that pass. How could he have NOT thrown that pass?!”
We also do a lot of speculating when it comes to human emotions. The conversation that the two guys I heard talking on the beach were having is a perfect example.
One guy was saying to the other, “I got her off several times. I don’t understand why she didn’t call me back. I don’t get it.” Then he went into speculation mode, in which he speculated about all the possible reasons why she didn’t call him back.
He said, for example, that she probably felt too free sexually with him and that made her uncomfortable because she wasn’t used to feeling that way. He wanted his friend to speculate about this woman’s emotions and agree with him.
Keep in mind that the friend with whom he was doing this speculating had never met this woman. Usually the person who is being asked to speculate on what someone is feeling has never met the person about whom they are being asked to speculate.
The speculators nevertheless will speculate just to make their friend feel good. This is the speculation game. It’s really ridiculous, but yet we do it all the time.
We go to our friends for advice. We break down a situation that’s going on in our dating life, and then our friends speculate on what they think the other person — whom they have never met — is thinking.
Obviously the speculating friend is trying to make their friend feel better by doing this. Sometimes in life, though, you’ve got to just let some things go.
The fact of the matter is that unless you are prepared to go directly to the source, you will never know what someone is really thinking. Never. You will never know what they were really thinking, so why play the speculation game?
If someone doesn’t call you back, and you don’t know the reason why from the source (i.e., the person who didn’t call you), then it’s okay because you already have your answer. The answer is that you don’t know. When that happens, you have to learn to let things go.
You’ll never learn the answer to everything in life, so why play the speculation game? The speculation game can really drive you crazy.
Also, think a little bit about the people you are asking to be the speculators. They were not present for any of the events you are telling them about and they almost always have never met the person about whose feelings and thoughts you are asking them to speculate. So why are you letting these people make you feel better?
In life, you need to learn to just let things go. Successful quarterbacks have to master this in order to be successful.
Here’s a great example of that. A few weeks ago, Kurt Warner threw five interceptions in one game. During the next couple week’s games, he came back and threw six touchdown passes. When asked about this, he basically said ‘I have a short memory.’
It’s time that all of you adopt the same mentality in your dating life. You need to develop a short memory that allows you to no longer play the speculation game.
Doing this can get you “out there” and dating a lot more quickly. You’ll also be a lot happier. So let’s eliminate the speculation game, and start enjoying ourselves more.
If we do that, then maybe the speculators will have to find work doing other things. Who knows, instead of speculating on human emotions they maybe decide to go into the stock trading business and start speculating there. It could be a good move for them, since it’s basically the same guessing game.
This is what I call being completely oblivious to all signals. I wonder how this guy is with women. Watch this video I’m going to call “Training Beyond Belief” and judge for yourself:
Nowadays, dating is more competitive than it’s ever been — download this free report to learn 6 proven skills to stand apart & succeed in the modern dating world.
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Marcus
Thursday, December 3rd, 2009
Gaby
Thursday, December 3rd, 2009
Joe A.
Thursday, December 3rd, 2009
Brad
Thursday, December 3rd, 2009
Miguel
Friday, December 4th, 2009
Philip
Friday, December 4th, 2009
Khiem/Ken (DW Coach)
Friday, December 4th, 2009
Mike-Ro
Sunday, December 6th, 2009
Tony888
Sunday, December 6th, 2009