Hey Everyone,

For this week, Sunday is Q&A day on the blog. Here are two more great questions you’ve submitted to me. Remember, if you are on my subscriber list and want to submit a question for me to answer in future blogs, simply respond to any one of the newsletter emails with your question.

If you’re not on my newsletter subscriber list and would like to be, all you need to do is go to the blue box at the upper right hand corner of each page of this website and submit your name and email. It’s that simple! Then as soon as you receive your first newsletter via email, you can submit your question!

Now, on to today’s questions!

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**Reader Question 1**
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Hi David,

How do you approach women in a situation where there are lots of people close by? For example, you step onto a train and there’s a really cute girl you like seated in the middle of a carriage and there’s 20-30 other people around. Let’s say you don’t have a seat next to that girl, how would you initiate an interaction then? 

Kind Regards and thanks in advance,

Andrew

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**My Answer To Reader 1’s Question**
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This is a great question from Andrew: How do you approach a woman in a situation where there are lots of people close by? For example, this might happen if you step into a train and there’s a really cute girl you’d like to approach sitting in the middle of the cart, but there are twenty or thirty other people all around her.

Here’s what you would do in that (and any similar) situation. You just walk toward her, smile and ask her “How’s your day?” Just have a conversation with her.

The reason you hesitate to approach women in these situations is because you are focused on all the other people who are around her. Let me tell you something I tell guys over and over again: You are not front page news!

I remember one time a client of mine said to me, “David, I see women all the time I want to approach, but I don’t want to be rejected in front of other people.” I told him the exact same thing I’m saying in response to Andrew’s question: You are not front page news!

Let me put this into perspective. First, no matter what happens you’re not being rejected (as I talked all about in Wednesday’s blog and podcast). If you approach someone and they don’t respond positively to you, then they just don’t feel the same chemistry you do. So get rid of the “getting rejected” mindset right away.

Second, remember that other people really don’t care about you and what happens when you approach someone. They are too wrapped up in their own lives to care about what is happening in your love life.

They don’t even see you walking around that train. They don’t notice you approaching that woman. They’re not talking about it.  You’re never going to hear over a supermarket loudspeaker “Attention shoppers! Andrew just got rejected in the produce aisle of this very Whole Foods store!”

This is all about your own excuses and fears. Walk over to someone you want to meet, talk to them and be open with them. On a train say, “Hey, how’s your day going?” Be friendly.

It’s all about the energy that you convey. Stop thinking about the other people around you. Nobody is watching you. They’re too wrapped up in their own monkey chatter.

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**Reader Question 2**
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David,

Background – I’m not in a great relationship, (too new) but I was well on my way to being over my ex.  Or so I thought. And just last night I messed up and slept with my ex in a moment of weakness.  I know you are going to say that women aren’t weak.  And you are correct.  I consciously made the decision and executed. Even knowing that it was wrong.  My ex couldn’t know what or who I am with or even in a relationship.  The contact from him was out of the blue and an instant spark. 

Here’s the strange part.  There was no discussion about getting back together.  Quite the opposite.  My ex went on and on about how lucky I was to be rid of him.  He is in a relationship that isn’t great, and as much as he cares for me, thinks  of me all the time, he was pretty adamant about stating the obvious – that he knows we couldn’t be together. 

You haven’t failed me with advice to this point.  In fact my girlfriends often ask ourselves, “What would David do?” 

Bottomline – since I didn’t use my chance to say “No” when I could, now what do I do?  Wait for another chance? Call let him know “No”? Do nothing?

Thanks for you help.
Always,
Arlanne

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**My Answer To Reader 2’s Question**
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Arlanne, you slept with your ex. That’s okay. You slept with him. You messed up. It was a moment of weakness. We all do it.

In fact, I’ve done it. I remember sleeping with my ex a couple years back. It was Thanksgiving time and we slept together. We were curious. It was a moment of weakness.

She and I even talked about how it was great just to have sex and not be in a relationship with each other. We made jokes about it.

It’s no big deal.  Don’t even worry about it.  Joke about it with the ex the next time you see him.  If sleeping with him messed you up again in your head and you’re feeling confused, then just be sure that you don’t do it again.

I always say that everyone is likely to go back and have sex with an ex one, two or even three more times because we all get weak. Something will happen in our lives — maybe a family tragedy or something really bad at work — and nobody understands us like our ex, so we reach for something comfortable and familiar.

We’re human. We mess up and make mistakes. Sometimes we just need something comfortable. It’s okay.

As far as I’m concerned, Arlanne, the most important thing for you is to be sure you are continuing to work on meeting someone new who is fantastic. When your ex says to you how lucky you were to be rid of him, he means it.

He also said that because he knows he doesn’t want you, and he doesn’t want you to get attached again. He knows it’s probably difficult for you.  So, he did it with a really cruel spirit.  

You had sex with the ex.  We all do it.  Now it’s time to move on.