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What do I think about cheaters . . . and cheating? People always ask me “David, how do you feel about cheaters?”
Well first we have to be clear about what kind of cheating (and cheater) we’re talking. If we are talking about people who cheat on tests, then I don’t feel anything about them because I was one of them.
I used to cheat on tests in college all the time because that was more of a challenge to me. Anyone can sit there, study and just memorize. To be good at cheating – to be able to walk into an exam with an extra bluebook filled with all the answers or to be able to use a copy machine to reduce a semester’s worth of notes onto a tiny page and put it where you can refer to it through the whole exam — now that’s a skill!
I can only imagine today how easy it would be to cheat nowadays with cell phones. You can text on the side of your desk. I can think of so many possibilities.
The kind of cheater I want to talk about in today’s blog, though, is not a cheater on tests. I want to talk about cheaters in relationships.
So how do I feel about cheaters in relationships? Let me tell you exactly how I feel.
First let me preface this by saying that I’m not exactly a “goodie two shoes.” I’m not saying I’ve been perfect my entire life or that I’ve never slipped up and found myself in someone bed who wasn’t my significant other. So before anyone and gets their panties in a knot thinking I’m about to preach about something I’ve never experienced, think again.
I can tell you something right now though. It took me a lifetime to find the person that I love. I honor her, I adore her, and I would never do anything to break the trust that we have. Then again, I’m also someone who has done a lot of work on himself so I knew exactly what I wanted in my partner.
For those of you who feel the need to cheat, I know you fall into a few different “categories” of why you feel you need to do this. I have friends who cheat on their wives, and they tell me they cheat because “it’s just what men do.” I also know people who rationalize cheating by saying “Men cheat, so I’m allowed to cheat.”
I know guys who have great sexual relationships with their significant other, but they still cheat because they just need a little extra “somethin’ somethin'” on the side. I also know people who are swingers who cheat together.
You know, I actually consider the swinger form of cheating to be pretty healthy. If you’re going to cheat, at least allow your partner to cheat too. You may as well cheat together.
So I’m actually all for the swinger lifestyle in that respect. It’s not the lifestyle for me, but I do think it’s a healthy lifestyle that works for certain people.
For people out there who are cheating and rationalizing it, however, you are the people for whom I have no respect.
I have no respect for people who cheat because they don’t have the balls to actually talk about their relationship with their partner.
I have no respect for people who cheat because they can’t admit that they might need to break off the relationship and be on their own again, and due to some weird co-dependency issue or “staying together for the kids” justification stay with their partner while they continue to cheat on them.
I have no respect for people who cheat and can’t admit that they made a mistake.
I have zero respect for any of these kind of people because they all are not being honest with their partners. You have got to be honest with your partner.
If it’s not working out, then you need to be honest about that. Cut your losses and move on instead of cheating.
Even if you have kids or even if you’re financially dependent on somebody, there are better ways to live your life. The kids always know when their parents are unhappy, so you’re not fooling them by staying together.
If you’re too cheap to get a divorce (which I know some people are) because some guys or some women have been the sole providers and you’re too cheap, then basically you’re living your life of hell.
In that situation, you’re basically more married to a bank account than to your partner. God forbid that your bank account should be cut in half! You’d rather just cheat on the side and be in a miserable marriage your whole life. You know what? That’s your own self-torture you’ve created for yourself.
Money can be remade, but you will never be able to make up all the time you lose being with someone you don’t love. Life is about finding love and not being miserable.
As far as I’m concerned, if you’re cheating for any of these reasons, you need to grow the hell up. You need to really look in the mirror and realize that this ride you’re on is not going to last forever.
Life is a one-shot deal. Granted, depending on what you believe, you could be reincarnated and come back as a dog, a cat, or another soul. You really don’t know what’s in store for you.
So if you are out there cheating because you’re not happy in your life, it’s time to look yourself in the mirror. It’s time to step up. It’s time to cut financial losses. It’s time to be honest with the kids.
Most of all, it’s time to be honest with yourself and go find true love. Let me tell you something. I have true love, and nothing feels better than it does. Nothing feels better than waking up every single morning with someone you think is the most amazing and incredible person you’ve ever met.
The rest of you are depriving yourself. If you still feel you need a bit of extra “somethin’ somethin'” then at least let your partner have it too. It’s only fair!
If you’re cheating, come clean. Let your partner cheat too. Maybe the two of you can actually develop a fun and different lifestyle for yourselves.
In today’s podcast, I go more in depth about the subject of cheating. No matter what you feel or think you know about cheating, this podcast is going to blow you away!
Click the play button below to listen:
Nowadays, dating is more competitive than it’s ever been — download this free report to learn 6 proven skills to stand apart & succeed in the modern dating world.
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