Conversation is an art. Conversation is a skill. Conversation is something we all need to learn if we are going to be able to relate deeper with each other in general, and especially in our connections with the members of the opposite sex.

To master the art of conversation, and particularly conversation with members of the opposite sex, there are a couple things you need to learn. I’ve talked a little about this in past blogs.

Women are really good storytellers. When they tell a story, they put tons of life into the story and are full of passion in how they deliver the story. When men tell stories, they just give the facts.

No matter how you tell a story, though, the real question is how to get the other person to open up to you on a deeper level. How do you encourage someone to feel safe opening up to you and to share their stories and their passions with you?

The topic of the story you tell doesn’t matter. It could be about the phenomenal time you had on your trip to Italy, or about your love of cars, or your love of flowers.

What you talk about in a story is not the important factor in whether you can get the person to whom you’re telling that story to open up to you. What is important is that when you are diving deep into the story you are telling someone, that you engage that person so that they want to really dive deep into a story of their own.

So after you tell someone something so passion-filled, you need to then look that person right in the eyes and invite them to reciprocate and share something equally passionate with you. So if you tell someone about your phenomenal trip to Italy, for example, what you would do when you’re finished is to look the person directly in the eyes and say “Tell me about your favorite place to go.”

Be sure to say whatever it is with enthusiasm, energy and confidence . . . but also say it with a child-like curiosity. It is that curiosity that will really intrigue the other person.

The reason that so many dates fail is because men and women sit there telling each other stories, but they don’t ever go deeper. So what happens is one person will tell a story, and then neither asks the other what they think or how they feel about the situation or topic of the story.

Knowing how to go deeper in your conversations with the opposite sex is the only way to move a relationship forward and take it to the next level. So next time you’re having a conversation with someone you interested in, engage them to see if this is a person with whom you really want to get deep.