Everyone is always stressing out about finding the “right” thing to say. You’re always trying to find the cleverest comment to make. So many guys are trying to be over-funny.

The obvious thing is always the best thing to say. And you have to wait for it. I’m patient. Most men are very impatient, and then go into the situation thinking, how am I going to open up this woman? How do I get her to talk to me? Blah blah blah…”

Most guys think that, while I’m just thinking this: what is she doing? I ask myself that question all the time. What is she doing? What is she looking at? What is she doing? Think about that instead of what clever line to use to open her.

If she’s looking at a book, or reading through the pages, I think, okay, is there anything about this book that I can talk to her about? That’s what I ask myself.

Then I see the handwritten name of someone in the front of the book. I think to myself, what memory does that bring up for me? – because everything brings up a memory, and life is about connecting with people’s emotions. So, what memory did it bring up for me? It brought up the memory of my grandmother writing my name in my books when I was a child.

So all of a sudden, a situation starts to arise. What is that situation? The opener. I can go and talk to her and say, “oh my god, look at that. Do you want to know what the coolest thing about that book is? You get it with someone else’s name. Do you remember when you were a kid and your grandmother wrote in the front of your books?”

She’ll start laughing and say, “oh my god, you’re so right! Why did we write our names in the books? Were we actually going to lose them or take them somewhere?” and the conversation starts from there.

You don’t have to be funny. Just look for the obvious every time. If you calm yourself down, the obvious thing will always present itself.

Today’s video is live footage from a past bootcamp. We were at a farmers market and we went over how powerful it is to be direct.

Sometimes some people are just a bit too direct.

Off to London tomorrow for another great bootcamp!!!