Social Proof By David Wygant

Women want what other women have. It’s like the ultimate version of social proof – you could be sitting in a restaurant and you know the waitress. So you go in alone to the restaurant that you eat at every Saturday and there is the waitress that you know.

So what do you do? You remember things about her. Not only do you have to be memorable, but you also have to remember things about people so you are able to bond with them again.

The best way to bond with somebody is to go back to the conversation you initially had with him or her. So if your memory is not good, I always suggest buying a little Blackberry Pearl and there is a memo pad in there and write down the name of the restaurant, the name of the waitress, and something personal about her.

Let’s say the waitress is “Ski Girl” – I do nicknames for everybody. Nicknames give instant intimacy. You want a woman to be calling you by a nickname, because she connects with nicknames more often than with regular names! It distinguishes you, but it also shows the playful side of your personality.

So you go back into that restaurant, and there’s Ski Girl right there. So you sit down and say, “Ski Girl, how are you? It’s a bit too warm to ski right now, isn’t it?” And she’ll laugh, and now you have her laughing. You can talk to her a little bit more.

Next thing you know, three women will sit down at the table across from you. The waitress is paying you attention – talking to you, laughing with you. The other women start looking at you and they wonder who you are. Is that her boyfriend? Who is this guy? The waitress comes over and treats you nicely all the time, but the waitress just goes over to her and treats her like a customer!

So immediately the women across from you start wondering about you. So what happens is that they become attracted to you based on the energy that you’re conveying with the waitress. So all of a sudden you see the women looking at you, and you can say to them, “oh man, what are you going to order? Everything here is phenomenal – it’s hard to decide!” Or, “have you been here before?” or “I was curious, what’s your favorite dish? Have you been here before?”

If they say no, you can say, “well let me tell you what is really good here, do you want to know?” And that’s how you share with them. Or if they tell you that they’ve been there before, you can say, “I’m curious, what’s your favorite dish?” – remember to use the ‘I’m curious’ approach to get them to start engaging you.

All of a sudden they start talking, and then the waitress comes back over and she’ll get a little jealous and starts talking to you, and that’s how the whole thing snowballs! It’s instant social proof.

In stores, it works the same way. A client and I went into the store Paul & Joe, and immediately I asked, “so where’s Paul, where’s Joe?” – or whatever it was. It doesn’t make a difference, it was an observational opener based on what was going on.

What happened then was that one girl started talking and laughing and showed us the whole book of all the fashions that were in the store. So then, all of a sudden, one of the other girls came over and started talking. Then another one – the manager – came over and started talking to us.

It works every time. If women see another woman smiling at you, laughing, and having a good time, they want the same thing. Most guys are not memorable, and most guys are boring.

And it is all about the voice tone. It is never what I say – because everything I say is just based on observations – but my voice tone is so excited during the whole process – “oh no way, you like to ski?” It’s just like I’m very excited about them.

Women want you to be excited about them, and women want you to be interested in them. Women want you to be so excited about them, because then they will get excited about you – because you’re being the exact opposite of every other guy that they ever see.