Come Back!
By David Wygant

Have you ever gone to a party or maybe even been in a bar, and you meet someone with whom you have instant chemistry? The minute you met them, you just felt like you wanted more. There was something about them that was really fascinating and intriguing, and you just wanted to take them away to a secluded corner and find out everything about them.

Yeah, I know what some of you were thinking about that dark corner and all the things you can do in that dark corner. Get your minds out of the gutter!

As you know, everything I teach is all about natural attraction and chemistry. Some of you out there might think that in my personal life I am dating a different woman each night. Some of you might think that I meet a woman every day with whom I want to go out on a date.

The real truth is that I spend a lot of time talking to a lot of different women. I do this so that when I am experiencing instant chemistry with a woman, I realize it and make sure to make the most of it.

Nothing feels better than having instant chemistry with somebody. You know it’s happening when you meet a total stranger and you are just fixated on every word they have to say. This happened to me the other night.

I went to a Christmas party up in the Hollywood Hills. I brought along a friend of mine and a client. When I walked into the party, I saw my friend Harold talking to two women. I just could not take my eyes off of one of those two women, and all I wanted was to find out more about her.

The minute we started talking, we had great chemistry. I was truly fascinated to learn about who she was. Not only was she incredibly sexy, but there was also something sweet, warm and real about her. I wanted to find out more.

We talked for quite a long time, but then I noticed my client was wandering around the party getting frustrated. I started to feel his energy.

When I invite clients to parties, it’s not about me standing there holding their hand and coaching them all night. That’s reserved for the coaching weekends. I invite them to a party so I can keep an eye on them and see if they’re using what I taught them to flirt with women.

So my client walked right over as this woman and I were in the middle of our great conversation and said “I’m leaving.” The woman (whose name shall remain anonymous) being the nice person that she is, got him to stay and he spent the next half hour or so talking with us.

We then proceeded to go in the kitchen. I got some food, and she went to talk with her friends for a second. The next thing you know, my friend Brian was in the corner talking to her.

Since I had such a great conversation with her, I knew she would come back and we would start talking again. Even though I knew this (and I know you all have felt this), I still wanted that conversation to happen NOW.

You are enjoying the conversation with someone so much that you don’t want it to end, but yet you have got to really play it cool and believe that whatever connection was there is still going to be there no matter what. It is about having inner confidence and believing in who you are as a person.

As human beings, though, when we have true chemistry with somebody we don’t want to let it go. We really want to stay in the flow of things.

So she continued to talk to my friend Brian for quite a while. They were apparently getting into a really good conversation. I am not someone (nor do I ever teach anyone) to walk over and break into a conversation like this.

You need to be confident. You also need to trust that if you really had the chemistry you think you did with that person, that it is still going to be there no matter with whom else they speak. Yet the waiting that this requires is still hard to do . . . especially when you see them off in a great conversation with other people.

Having true inner confidence, however, is what makes you attractive to the opposite sex. A lot of guys in this situation would have walked over and butted in on the conversation that she was having with my friend. That is a turn-off!

You need to realize something. The fact that she is talking to someone else does not mean that she has lost interest in you. It just means that she’s just having a great night . . . as should you.

So what did I do in this situation? I talked to all my friends. I talked to other women. I had a great time.

Did I want to talk to this woman more? Absolutely. We even had a little rendezvous at the bottom of the steps where we flirted again before she went and spoke to some other people.

What you need to do in this situation is trust yourself and trust the connection that you already had with that person. Play it cool. If you made a good impression on her then that connection is going to be there. It didn’t go away.

A confident man does not smother a woman. A confident man allows her to come back on her own terms. If you’ve made a great impression on her, then she is going to come back. By going over there and smothering her, you’re going to lose her.

You need to believe in yourself. Of course it’s hard. Here’s someone you are attracted to and they’re talking to someone else. On top of that, my friend is very good looking, charming, and women like him.

Here’s something you need to understand though. There’s no such thing in this situation as competition. The only competition is that crazy person inside your head, that drunken money whose voice starts freaking you out telling you that you are losing her to somebody else.

People are not possessions . . . you can’t lose them. You can lose the remote control, sometimes you can’t find your keys, and sometimes you hope the cat will never come home.

You cannot lose a person, though, because you don’t own them. If you have worked on deep inner confidence, then you will truly understand that if someone is attracted to you they will come back for more no matter how many other people they talk to during the evening.

So what happened at the end of the night? I found her again, we talked, and I got her phone number. I’ve already spoken to her on the phone and we are going to go out on a date.

Learning to trust yourself and developing inner confidence is the only way women are truly going to become attracted to you. Getting all crazy and freaking out is going to turn women off.

Life is not about learning magic phrases to pick up women. It is about developing real and deep inner confidence so that you’re able to attract and understand real chemistry when it happens.

I don’t go out to pick up women . . . ever. I spend my time talking to and meeting all sorts of people (men and women). That way when I’m presented with real chemistry, I’ll know exactly what to do.

It’s all about real chemistry. I’m in my forties. It took me a LONG time to understand how to powerfully connect with women. That’s why I enjoy teaching so much.

There is nothing more exciting than a real connection with someone. I continually enjoy the ride every single day.

If you’d like to enjoy the ride and develop this deep inner confidence, let me suggest a personal coaching session or my Mastery Series click here for details.

This has been one of my favorite blogs that I’ve written. I rarely share my personal life, but I felt this story would really help a lot of people understand better how I coach and the type of passionate life that I live.

Or you can do what this man has done to turn his life around.