Today we have a special guest and she is not the Foxy Blond but a super sexy sensual passionate friend of mine.
Ok get tour mind out of the gutter I am not sleeping with her. Men and women can be friends.

Lets call her the mysterious girl from somewhere in California.

Thanks David for that amazing introduction and as you know compliments will get you everywhere with me.

So guys are you ready to hear some no bullshit advice from a single woman in her early 30s?

What goes through my mind when a guy approaches me?

There is a lot that goes through my mind when a guy approaches me. Usually it is something along the lines of:

“Oh great, here we go again, another lame ass pickup line and more than a few seconds of uncomfortable silence followed by a whimpering “Ummm, you think…..like….could I……ummm…..you know, like do you want to hang out or something?””.

I think this is a loaded question to be quite honest, David. What you are looking for here is the secret to approaching women…..like the perfect thing to say every single time. To be quite honest, there is no secret pass phrase to approaching a female as far as I’m concerned. A perfect example would be last week. I had to be in the lobby of the courthouse to brief my client at 8:30 before the trial began at 9. I woke up late and rushed off to Starbucks to get my morning fuel before going into court and arguing before the “Hanging Judge” (as he is not-so-affectionately known in these parts). There was a particularly long line and I was busy preparing my opening statements in my mind when a really good looking guy dressed in a business suit caught my eye.

I was actually engrossed in my own thoughts and didn’t realize I was making eye contact with this guy until it registered in my mind a few seconds later. By that time I was next in line and was placing my order with the Barista. I then walked over to the counter and stood there impatiently waiting for my drink, still mentally preparing what I was going to say, all the while checking my watch to make sure I wasn’t going to be late.

The next thing I know that same guy was up in my face talking about something or other. When I say “talking about something or other”, I mean just that. I was mentally tuned out and the only thing I wanted to hear from another human being at that particular point in time was “Miss, your Iced Grande Vanilla Latte is ready”. I did not want to be bothered, even if it Brad Pitt was standing butt naked right in front of my face. Needless to say the guy got a half-assed “hrmphh” to whatever question he was asking me and I was out the front door lickety-split.

So a good part of picking up females is to realize that sometimes we are preoccupied with other things and really don’t have the time to sit there and chat. It is nothing personal and had it been any other time you might have gotten more than a half-assed answer to whatever question you were asking us.

But I digress.

Let’s assume for a second that I wasn’t going into court that morning, and let’s assume that it was any given Saturday morning.

The first thing I would notice is how the guy is dressed. If I am down by the beach and the guy is wearing board shorts and a wrinkled wife beater, I would naturally assume he was a local…..resident/surfer/whatever. If I was out of town on business, thousands of miles away from any beach and saw the same guy, my only thoughts would be to dig through my pockets to see if I could give the poor wino some spare change. How a man dresses tells a lot about his personality. If his mommy didn’t teach him how to properly iron his shirt, just what the fuck makes him think I got the words “Lucy Ricardo” stamped across my forehead?

The next thing that would register in my unconscious mind is his posture. I have noticed that sometimes guys approach me with their hands in their pockets, shoulders hunched forward, heads tilted downwards and a blank stare on their faces. They probably don’t realize that they are doing this, but this is a clear sign of low self esteem.

I have noticed over the years that the initial “spark” I feel inside is quickly extinguished when I don’t perceive confidence from the minute I make eye contact with them. On the other hand, if a guy approaches me with his shoulders back, chin up and a confident (but not creepy) look in his eyes, I sometimes find myself frozen like a little doe caught in the headlights. It just draws me in magnetically and my mind goes blank for a few seconds (which is a good thing).

The next thing I notice after they start speaking to me is the tone of their voice. I read somewhere that you can lie through your teeth and get away with it, but the tone of your voice and the various inflictions you give your speech are a dead giveaway. If a guy starts stumbling with words, or the tone of his voice isn’t “normal” I instantly go on the defensive.

To me, this suggests that the only reason he is approaching me is because he has a hidden agenda: to get my number. At that point in time I start mentally checking out of the conversation and try to guess how long it will be before the stammering and stuttering will begin. I find myself taking mental bets on how long it will be before he asks me for my number. I sometimes feel bad for these guys so I wind up giving them my number anyways: 765-4321

The last thing that goes through my mind is whether or not I find myself attracted to them. While looks do plan an important part, I do give extra points for comedians and what I like to call “Honest Joes”. Honest Joes are your average looking normal kind of guys.

They are confident, dressed appropriately and are the types of guys that just blend into the crowd and it is only after I consciously finding myself writing my phone number down do I realize that they are an “Honest Joe”. No game, no comedic schtick, no BMW in the parking lot…..just an honest and sincere approach. Speaking from personal experience, those are the types of guys that more often than not wind up as my boyfriends.

Thanks Mystery girl for all your great insight. You can check out her site by clicking here

Todays video is a sneak peek behind the closed doors of one of my post boot camp late night rap sessions.