Happy Hour
By David Wygant

Every day after work bars all over the country entice you to come in and celebrate “Happy Hour” with them.

Two for one drinks and free food that gives you heartburn . . . sounds like a lot of fun to me! Do they ever promise you things like two phone numbers for every drink you buy? Now that would be a novel Happy Hour . . . Buy 2 Buds – Get one gal.

Strangely, people who don’t enjoy going to bars on a Friday or Saturday night will often go to Happy Hour. Do they think that they will somehow enjoy it more because it’s dinner time, or because there are people there in business suits? They go thinking that they will find all the kind of people they want to meet, and also see none of the people they tried to avoid at that same bar the previous Saturday night.

So the question is this: Why do so many people who don’t like to eat bad wings or drink booze go to Happy Hour? The funny thing too about Happy Hour, is that most people who are there don’t look so happy.

Standing around a bar after work doesn’t sound like fun to me. Granted, maybe that is because I don’t drink. I can hear all of you now thinking “He must be in some kind of program.” The truth is, though, that alcohol really does nothing for me.

I get high off of life and don’t really need alcohol to loosen me up. I am already loose. Just the other night I was so loose that, well . . . that’s another story for another day.

So let’s talk about this so-called Happy Hour where most people are miserable. I’ve said it a thousand times: If you do not like standing around a crowded bar drinking after work, then why do you go?

Why don’t you try some of these places for Happy Hour:

1. Try going to Whole Foods Market between 6:30 pm and 8:00 pm. No half-price drinks there (although maybe they’ll give you half off on cereal), but the place is stocked with a ton of people buying themselves groceries and dinner.

2. How about doing something good for your body and going to a gym or taking a yoga class.

3. How about heading to a local coffee shop and reading a book?

4. Try going to the local mall and do some shopping.

There are plenty of things to do after work besides going to Happy Hour. It just takes a little kick in the ass to do something different.

So the next time your group of friends gets together and asks you to join them at Happy Hour, tell them you have never been happy at Happy Hour. Then tell them you are going to go to an alternative place and create your own happy hour.

There is actually a dog store in Venice or Santa Monica that has a Yappy Hour where people get their dogs together in the store and their dogs yap. Or, in the case of little dogs, it would be called Yippy Hour.

Todays video breaks down whether or not you need to go out with a wingman. You will be amazed at my thoughts.