A post on the importance of learning sex finesse by David Wygant

Thanks to the “Amazing Sex” blog from the other day, I received this interesting perspective from one of our female readers. None of you know her. She’s been, as she says, “an anonymous reader” from the beginning. The only thing I’m allowed to share is that she is a very attractive woman in her early thirties who lives in a big City.

She wanted to share her story about a sexual experience she had the other night, which sounds more like she slept with a college frat boy mixed with our friend the GEICO Caveman than with a man.

What you’re about to read may make you feel a lot of different emotions. But what you’re about to read I hope may change your perspective on how to have sex with a woman if you act like this type of man. Because if you decide to have sex with a woman you barely know, she consents to it, and you treat her like this . . . this is how you are making her feel.

Our “anonymous reader” also shared with me that this man keeps calling her, thinking he was some kind of tiger in bed. She has now basically eliminated all his phone messages, and will continue to ignore him from this day forward. This man was not a tiger . . . he was a caveman.

Without further ado, here’s this reader’s story:

Thanks David for letting me share my horrific experience with this man.

Having just read David’s blog about how great “after-sex” can be with someone with whom you share an amazing physical and mental connection, I thought this posting might be apropos.

I recently had a sexual experience with an unprecedented, and frankly unhappy, side effect: I didn’t want to be kissed or touched in any way by the man with whom I had just had sex. That is, I wanted nothing to do with any kind of “after-sex.”

Was this someone to whom I was simply not attracted? No.

Was this a post one-night stand feeling of regret, or was it a case of post-beergoggling morning shock? Nope.

This happened with someone I’d already slept with . . . twice. Yes, this “relationship” fell more into the “booty-call” category, and the couple of times I had slept with this man had been . .. okay. If it was just “okay,” then why did I invite him over the other night for time number three?

Well, he was a very good kisser and I really enjoyed how much he liked to spend the entire night intertwined, touching and kissing. Also, to be perfectly honest, it had been a while (a very long while in fact) since I’d had sex. So what can I say . . .

Like the Sultry Brunette wrote about on this blog, I will admit that very often I have “faked it” with a man. While I many times do not reach orgasm with a man, do not mistake this as an indication that I do not enjoy sex. Quite the opposite in fact.

I very much enjoy most other aspects of having sex and derive plenty of enjoyment through those routes. I LOVE to kiss . . . a deep, passionate kiss to me is as good as any other part of the sexual experience. I love the body contact and the touch of connecting with a man. I love how you breath mingles. I love how sensitive every part of your body becomes to the feel of someone else’s lips, hands and body making contact with yours. Most of all, I love to do myriad different things to bring a man enjoyment during sex. That, in and of itself, really excites me.

So what happened on time number three with the GEICO Caveman (hereinafter I’ll refer to him simply as “Mr. Caveman”)? Nothing good . . . at all.

I understand that when your “relationship” consists mainly of “booty calls,” that there are certain elements of romance, tenderness, and intimacy that may be missing from the equation. What occurred with Mr. Caveman, however, crossed way over the “few missing elements” line into the territory of “completely devoid” of ANY romance, ANY tenderness and ANY intimacy.

Here’s what happened . . .

Mr. Caveman came over late one evening and upon entering my home, he pulled me immediately into my bedroom. No chit-chat . . . no kiss hello. While on previous occasions we had a long makeout session before anything more had happened, this time there was NO preliminaries of any kind.

He backed me up to my bed, pushed me down on the bed and immediately layed on top of me. Within no more than a minute, he had unzipped his pants and pulled down mine. He already had put on protection.

Before I had time to say anything, he was already inside me. I remember my first time being somewhat uncomfortable and a little painful at first … but that did not compare to this. This was painful.

Notably, he still had not said a word to me. When I tried to push him off of me, he grabbed both of my wrists and pinned them down on the bed. So, at this point, I just let him finish.

Here’s where things got weird . . .

After he finished, he smiled at me and leaned down to kiss me. I turned my head away from him. Then, he . . . ASKED . . . if he could hold me for the rest of the night. Fairly upset from the preceding course of events I simply turned over and tried to go to sleep.

During the next several hours, he made multiple attempts to reinitiate kissing and cuddling. I wouldn’t let him do any of it … which is ironic considering how those activities to me are some of the best parts of being intimate with someone.

I realize many of you are thinking “Well, what do you expect from a booty call . . . romance and roses?!” No … but this is not the kind of sex I would ever want to have with anyone, anytime, anywhere ever again. Whether sex occurs during a booty call, with a lover or in the context of a relationship, there should always be some element of intimacy.