So You’ve Got To Break Up With Someone…
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What is it about hotels? Why is it that no matter in what type of hotel you stay, you can hear the plumbing?
Also, why does housekeeping start so early even when you have the “f*^k off” sign on the door? You can hear them at the crack of dawn knocking on doors up and down the hallway.
I mean, if someone is out of their room at 7:00 am, I highly doubt there are coming back at 8:00 am. So I think the mandatory start time for housekeeping ought to be 9:00 am so the rest of us can get our money’s worth and our sleep!
I am writing this in a cafe called “Mommy World.” We are the only non-childbearing, non-pregnant, non-breast feeding people in here!
OK, I’m off to the streets of New York City, and leaving you with today’s blog…
So, you’ve got to break up with somebody. Breaking up is hard to do.
I’ll tell you something – I was never a good breaking up person. I mean, it was one of the hardest things in the world for me to do. Through much of my adult life, I would work to get women to dislike me so the relationship could end.
Once a relationship was over, I just hated having to have “the talk.” I hated having to have that breakup talk.
The breakup talk is the worst talk in the entire world. To sit down and to break somebody’s heart is awful. Then again, they may want to break up with you too — you just never know.
There are, however, rules about breaking up that everyone should follow. I really think breaking up is something that needs to be done face to face. Silvester Stallone is famous for breaking up via Fed Ex.
Other people will break up with someone via text message, which I think is cowardly. Never break up with somebody you’re dating via text message.
Never break up with someone via email. It think that is really tacky. Never stick a Post It® note on someone’s refrigerator or their pillow case right after you’ve had sex saying, “Sorry but I don’t think this is going to work out.”
Once you realize that you need to break up with somebody, you need to sit them down immediately. The passive aggressive way of breaking up (of which I’ve been guilty in my past) wherein you try to get someone to break up with you by putting them through a year of torture to get them to hate you, is totally wrong.
Once you know you no longer want to be with someone, it needs to be you who initiates the breakup — now and face to face. When you know you need to break up with somebody, you need to sit them down and be honest about how you feel.
You shouldn’t be that passive aggressive person who stops returning someone’s phone calls to get the other person to be angry with you.
Think about it from their perspective. Here is this person who is getting to know you for a month or two, and then all of a sudden you stop taking their calls and stop calling them.
They’re going to be confused. They won’t know what’s going on with you. They will start to get really nervous. They’ll start having talks with their friends about it. They’ll start to wonder what they did to cause you do act this way.
You will be leaving things open-ended. Instead of causing all this upset and anxiety in the other person, all you really need to do is to tell them that you are no longer feeling that relationship. By doing that, you are giving them closure.
You don’t want to leave someone without closure in these situations. Why? Remember what that feels like when someone in the past has done this to you, and you will never do it to someone else again.
So, breakups are something that should be done immediately once you know you want to end things with someone. Don’t hesitate. Breakups should happen fast.
The minute you know you need to break up with someone, you need to figure out how to do it quickly and face to face. There should be some kind of 48 hour break up rule, wherein you must do it within 48 hours of deciding you need to do it.
For any of you who are wondering where the usual Wednesday podcast is, it is still going to be here every Wednesday EXCEPT for this week (when it will be making a special appearance on Friday). So be sure to check back here on Friday for a very special podcast and blog!
Nowadays, dating is more competitive than it’s ever been — download this free report to learn 6 proven skills to stand apart & succeed in the modern dating world.
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Lindsay
Wednesday, November 11th, 2009
Crystal
Wednesday, November 11th, 2009
Lexi
Wednesday, November 11th, 2009
charly2009
Wednesday, November 11th, 2009
Greg
Wednesday, November 11th, 2009
Amy
Wednesday, November 11th, 2009
peace
Thursday, November 12th, 2009
Will
Thursday, November 12th, 2009
jefff a
Thursday, November 12th, 2009
Marina
Thursday, November 12th, 2009
Lexi
Thursday, November 12th, 2009
charly2009
Thursday, November 12th, 2009
Alain
Friday, November 13th, 2009
Lexi
Friday, November 13th, 2009
Tony888
Saturday, November 14th, 2009
kimkarsh
Monday, November 16th, 2009
Eric
Wednesday, December 16th, 2009
Hindi Break Up SMS
Thursday, June 30th, 2011